Day 41: Simply That Amazing

1) So today it was originally going to just be 4 of us for lunch: Roy, me, Darian, Jace. And then of course Harrison joined the mix. But I cooked a huge lunch and it seemed like we should have more than just 'us' so...as it turned out, Savana decided she could just us afterall. And she brought Guerin. And then Drew tagged along. And then Nick (Cord) called to say he could make it afterall. And THEN Ryan showed up. So in the end there were kids everywhere and everyone was talking and laughing and sprawled throughout the living room.

I love that.

2) Darian and I had some really really good conversations today--who God is and that sort of thing. Gosh I love that girl. I mean--I know that everyone loves their kids and that's a beautiful thing. But I honestly feel sorry for everyone who doesn't have Darian as their daughter. She's that amazing. (And yes, Savana--you're that amazing too.)

3) Tonight there was the Christmas program at our school. Beautiful, precious Rachel has been stressing all week about a silks routine that she was performing for the program. She was one of the first 'acts' and she was absolutely spectacular. She wrote her own routine and it went with the beat of the music. Honestly--I was amazed. She whipped those silks around, climbed, hung--so graceful and beautiful and amazing. And when it was over, she fumbled a bit at the end and climbed down...then ran out obviously upset. So I left a shortly after and found her sobbing in her dorm room. I talked to her for awhile -- about how fabulous she was and all good things -- and then we were joined by Cassie, the assistant girls' dean. So in the end, the three of us had a great conversation--talking about life and dating and love stories--those common experiences we all have yet they are all so unique, so special in their own right.

And even though I missed most of the Christmas program, I am so glad that I did.

Day 40: Highlights

I have looked forward to today all week and it absolutely proved to be a fabulous day. Here are the highlights:
1) Roy promised his workers that he would take them out for lunch at El Que Pasa today as their Christmas gift for being great workers all semester. And so he did...accompanied by Darian and me. And of course it was just tons of fun. Good kids. Lots of conversation. Good food. These kids (Alexis, DJ and Drew) are so loyal to Roy and he teases them unendingly...and they give it right back. But it's all lighthearted and it's obvious there's so much cameraderie between them. It's sweet.

2) This morning I 'messaged' a longtime friend of mine from high school -- Jeff -- who is probably a millionaire--or close to it -- to let him know about two mission trips Darian is going to be taking to see if he can support her. She needs $2600 which is a bit overwhelming. But he was always good to support Savana on her trips so I figured it would be good to get a headstart on this huge sum of money. Anyway, he immediately messaged me back and said he would send $1000--and when her deadline gets closer, let him know how much she is lacking and he will send her whatever she needs. Oh. My. Goodness.  He called me later and we spent some time catching up. He's one of those friends that is just plain easy to talk to--so down to earth and silly and nice. So it was fun catching up. Heartwarming knowing that after all of these years? We're still really good friends. He's the same guy he was in high school really...just a little bit older.  (Emphasis on the little.)

3) I cleaned my house today--one of those thorough cleanings that includes sweeping and mopping and dusting and vacuuming--while Pandora plays its heart out. And then I cooked so lunch is completely ready for tomorrow: lasagna, salad, french bread, and pumpkin pie for dessert. This sort of thing doesn't happen too often these days. But it did today and I'm so glad that it did.

4) On a whim, I decided to call Yvette--Harrison's mom--to see if he could spend a couple of nights with us. And she said yes. Jace was clueless that I had done this and he left school before Yvette arrived to let Harrison know. So when he got home and I told him to go back and get Harrison...well, the look on his face was priceless. And then he said, "Mom! You're so sick!" And of course...that's lingo for 'You're so cool!' But that sick word always stops me in my tracks. But regardless--in Jace's eyes I was a hero today...if only for a moment.

5) The music concert was tonight at the church and, as always, I was amazed. That Ed Pelto is absolutely ridiculous. He manages to get so much out of those kids and they sounded stupendous. It was a perfect length--each group performed three numbers. And I enjoyed every single one.

6) And then when it was over I went over to say hello to Donna Robertson. And then Tricia joined us...and we talked for quite some time. It was fun--genuine conversation. Authentic. And gosh I love that.

So all in all? It was a great day. And as I came upstairs to blog and then head to bed, I left Savana in the kitchen--finishing up the cinnamon rolls that we will have for breakfast in the morning.

Day 39: Stripple Sandwiches and Such

I have to say one of the most joyful parts of my day is watching Piper and Sparti play. It is absolutely adorable. They play tag--literally. One nips the other then catapults through the house, the other hot on his trail. And then they reverse it. Over and over again. Sparti loves to attack Piper's tail--fully knowing it will begin a playing spree. Piper barks, nips, and wrestles Sparti who is 1/10 his size...and Sparti keeps going back for more. I need to video it--it's simply adorable.

Secondly, Jace has decided that he likes to breakdance. I'm not sure where this started but it's hysterical. He breakdances in the morning and all evening. Then tonight he did quite a show with his "guns." That boy...He assures me that he realizes that he looks ridiculous. But? He loves it. So...why not? :)

Thirdly, Ricky flies out for Korea in the morning as he's going home for Christmas so he stopped by my office and brought me a Christmas card today. Inside the card he wrote the sweetest message. It was priceless and I will cherish it forever. So so sweet.

Fourthly, Ryan, Drew and Ethan came into my office this afternoon and begged me to drive them to the gas station so they could get sodas. I finally complied and off we went. But naturally once we got there, Ethan's card--the designated purchaser--wouldn't work. I left my purse at home as I had no intention of going to town so...they loaded up and we came back home. But it was hilarious and fun and gosh I will those ridiculous boys once they graduate.

Fifth? I conquered the calendar that hangs on my wall. This entire semester I have fought it. I have hung it up with sticky tape. It fell down. Then I added mailing tape. Fell down again. So I stripped it of all tape and started over...this time adding more. Still fell down. And it does that weird crackly thing when it's just about ready to fall to its death so I know that its demise is just around the corner. It has been a continual fight--and I had just about it given it up for lost when Tammy mentioned that I should hang it up with hot glue. Naturally, I kept forgetting to bring the hot glue gun to school so I finally remembered to mention it to Roy last night. Naturally he has this elephant memory so this morning before I went to school, he actually got the glue gun and put it in the car for me with a couple extra glue sticks. So with a sense of accomplishment and the joy of success, I now have a permanent calendar hanging on my wall. And while I was at it, I hot glued the corkboard that has fallen down more times than I could count.

Whoever takes this office next? They're going to hate me.

And I can't not mention supper tonight. Darian came home from choir starving. So she went into the kitchen to get herself something to eat and, since I wouldn't let her open a can of hotdogs as the last time she opened a can of hotdogs I had to throw half of them out as they grew mold, she gave up trying to figure out what she was going to eat and resigned herself to playing the piano. So, being the ever-devoted mother that I am (not really--I'm pretty much over it)...I went into the kitchen to make Jace a smoothie and decided that I should 'bless' her with a stripple sandwich. And heck...while I'm at it I should make me one too! So I did. I can't even remember the last time I had a stripple sandwich. But it took me back to my childhood...and made me wonder why I don't eat those more often.

Day 38: It's Wednesday

It's Wednesday. I am always thankful for Wednesdays as I don't have to cook. Jace and I usually walk over to the caf and even if it's a leftover-type day, I don't have to do dishes; I don't have to figure out what to make Jace and Darian; there's always good conversation. I mean--there's nothing to dread really. So today? All of the above happened: walked to the caf with Jace, ate leftovers, didn't do dishes and had good conversation. What's not to love?

Secondly, Tammy came into my office this morning while I was teaching and entered 2/3 of these forms that I need to update on our database for me. Oh my--that's spectacular. This huge stack has been sitting there for a couple of weeks now and I haven't gotten to it...and haven't gotten to it...and then today she did. So now I can finish up quickly and that is a beautiful thing.

Thirdly? While Tammy worked, Beth G and I chatted. And then Beth A. came in...and we all decided to go to lunch together. We went to IHOP and it was a genuinely good time. Love those girls. I'm thinking we need to do that more often. Actually.

Fourthly, my freshmen complained recently that we never do anything 'fun' in class. I found this rather disconcerting as in my humble opinion, every class is fun! But as I reflected on the semester after that statement, I realized that, in fact, we haven't had a single class where we just kicked back a little and did something creative and a tad more relaxed. So today we did just that. I brought in four loaves of pumpkin bread and a couple of bags of creativity: glitter, glue, various types and colors of paper, markers, etc..., and twenty kids went to work turning their short stories that are due in final draft form on Friday into children's books. I turned on some Christmas music and though, admittedly, I'm not convinced much work went on, we had a good time. (Sure hope the classes next door had a good time too.) But the best part? My freshmen were so happy...all smiles and chatter and bright eyes.

So it isn't even 7:00 in the evening. The Christmas lights are on, it's toasty in my house, and I'm looking forward to an entire evening of reading and watching Parenthood with Darian and maybe even watching something on tv.

Day 37: A Great Surprise

So today I had the nicest surprise: I came home from school and the very first thing I noticed were four HUGE bags of leaves from our yard. A few days ago I told Roy that I found the fact that we still had a ridiculous amount of leaves all over our yard embarrassing. So this morning he and Drew got busy...and our yard looks as it should. So much better! And then? There by our front door stood a Christmas tree. He was a busy boy this morning. It was a great surprise...so I quickly went down to the gym just as gymnastics was starting to let him know how much I appreciate that.

Secondly? I accomplished a ridiculous amount of work at school. I got a newsletter out (thanks to Landon), updated the database, receipted all of the donations that we've received from the phone-a-thon plus got out the thank you letters for those, and finished all of my lesson plans for the remainder of the semester. Feels SO good.

And thirdly? We have the nicest group of kids in our faculty family. They all get along nicely and they are just genuinely good people. So tonight we took them to Cold Stone and then Walmart. But the cool thing was how they befriended Jace. They included him in their conversations, asked him questions, hung with him...and he loosened up and was laughing and enjoying himself. These days that's rare--he is so insecure with people he doesn't know. But their kindness won him over and it means the world to this me. And Jace.

And the last thing I want to mention is that Beth A and Beth G asked me to sing with them at the Christmas weekend extravaganza. So I'm not a singer--I mean, I can harmonize. But pretty much it's only for me to hear...not anybody else. And these two girls have beautiful voices. So I am admittedly feeling insecure about the whole singing aspect. But? I am excited to practice; excited to spend time with two people that I genuinely like. I think it'll be fun. And if nothing else? I'll just say 'watermelon' and everybody will assume I'm singing. :)

It's 10:30, I'm tired, and I hope to get up at 5:50 am again as I love a whole hour to myself before life begins with a bang. So I'm off to bed... It's been a good day. :)

Day 36: Not That Different Afterall

So my day started at 6:00--ninety minutes of alone time in my living room with Christmas lights hanging from the ceiling. I am working through this program that a friend of mine introduced me to and I made so much progress this morning. It's life changing, insightful and it set up my day for so. much. joy. Here are the highlights:

1) When I checked the thermostat this morning the temperature was 62 degrees. A bit chilly, even for me. Turns out our central heat is no longer centrally heating but by noon, the guy was here and with no help from me other than opening the door, our heater had risen from the dead. It's a beautiful thing.

2) On a hunch I headed to the cafeteria today for lunch. I don't usually do that but I was late leaving my office and I had so much to accomplish that I decided to save some time and eat "out." Most of the kids were gone by the time I got there so it was just Bonny, Phil and me sitting around a table and eating together. Though we talked about nothing significant, it was so much fun.

3) Today in ESL I introduced new vocabulary words. One of the words was 'advantage.' Normally I say the word for them and then explain the definition, give some sample sentences, etc. to make sure they understand what the word means. So today I said, "Advantage means...." and Ricky interrupted me: "I know! Mt. Pisgah Advantage Academy!" And he was for real. I've laughed about that all evening! Those Koreans...they are genuinely great people.

4) The realization (and discussion with a couple of dear people) about how, though we are all unique and different, we are all so intimately connected--everybody, all over the world. We all seek acceptance, try to do what's best for ourselves and those we love, yearn for good things, laugh, cry and plan for our futures. And so, though we are all so different, we really aren't that different afterall. We share similar journeys on this planet as we live our lives. And it seems to me that our mission should be, above all, to make each other's journey just a little bit easier until we all get to the other side. It's simple really...but gosh we make it complicated.

5) I made dinner this evening and Miranda joined. Miranda is a sophomore here--a delightful girl who exudes so many good things. And she and Darian giggled and chattered and just had a generally good time. But one of the things that I cherish about Miranda is how very much she reminds me of Bekah, Savana's best friend from high school. I loved that girl--and I miss her so very very much. So having Miranda here was just a little bit of extra special.

Day 35: Blessed

Well I guess I blew it with blogging every day. Doggone it. But I'm not going to provide a litany of excuses. I'm just going to hit it yet again...

So today has been a fabulous day. Truly.

1) Roy and I had a date--a real live date. We haven't done that in a forever! We went out to eat, completed some Christmas shopping, and went to a movie. We laughed and talked and had such a great time. It was comfortable and fun. And another amazing thing about this experience? I am completely finished with my Christmas shopping for the kids--and it isn't even December yet. Love that.

2) When we got home I did a budget. This is month #2 for creating a very detailed budget and I am loving it. It makes me feel in control and it eliminates financial stress. So though it's rather ridiculous that we've been married for 25 years and never done a really detailed budget, hoorah that I'm doing it now...and it works!

3) Darian read The Notebook so she's all about love stories. So tonight when we took Harrison and Alex home (as they came home from school with Jace), she asked me about my love story. So that was fun to take a walk down memory lane and share those stories with my daughter. And of course--it reminded me that I am genuinely happy that I'm married to this guy of mine.

4) I was talking to a friend of mine who is in so much pain due to problems with her teeth. Because she has no money, she's going to a free clinic to have possibly three teeth pulled--and she's only 34. No dental insurance. No money even for monthly payments. My heart hurts for her. This whole story reminded me of how very blessed we are to have insurance and jobs and, really, we lack for absolutely nothing.

"I'm at that place where it's like, 'I can't get any more goodness in my life.' … I feel blessed every second. I go to bed feeling blessed, and I wake up feeling blessed."

— Ellen DeGeneres 

Day 34: Thanksgiving

It's Thanksgiving today. :)

So what brought me joy today?

A husband who is willing to drive 200 miles one way on a road trip...without any help from me.

Adorable babies...and the fact that I no longer have adorable babies which translates into much more independence.

The movie The Notebook.

Delicious oh so yummy food cooked by Amanda--Roy's nephew's wife. It was genuinely fabulous.

Our road trip to Atlanta...and back.

The fact that we got home far earlier than expected: 7:00 instead of 10:00.

Lots of conversation and laughter and good times.

The fact that I called my friend Laurie at the very last minute to see if she (or one of her cute girls) could let Piper out while we were gone and she so very happily said yes. Love that.

It has been a good day.

Day 33: Thankful

So it's the day before Thanksgiving and I have so very very much to be thankful for:

-Darian has her best friend here and they are having a fabulous time filled with talking and shopping and laughing and sharing. These girls just get each other and...it's beautiful.

-This morning Roy and I were taking Savana to Guerin's and since Roy had to wait for Savana to finish packing, he decided to blow the leaves off the driveway with the leaf blower. Meanwhile, I got in the car--and he tried to 'blow me away'. It was a fairly strong 'wind' that thing created and it blew my hair back. So when Savana came out, he did the same to her. Knowing she had just fixed her hair and was, of course, wanting to look her best, I braced myself for her to yell at him--irritated. But I heard nothing. So looking up, I saw my daughter, laughing as she did the 'Marilyn Monroe' pose--the one where she's standing on a vent and it's blowing her skirt up. And in that moment, I was just so thankful for this silly daughter of mine who is so so happy. And it shows.

-I'm thankful for family traditions. For my entire life, I've had homemade noodles on Thanksgiving. It's a tradition that's been passed down through the generations on the Nicholas side of my family. So every Wednesday before Thanksgiving day, I mix up, roll up, cut, and roll out 3 recipes of noodles. And then when I cook them on Thanksgiving day, they are absolutely delicious. I guess it's a rather unusual tradition as I've never met anybody else who serves homemade noodles on Thanksgiving. but  it's one I'm thankful for. Normally when I roll them out I'm assisted by my girls. But for the first time in probably twenty years I did this process by myself. It was a tad sad, admittedly--but it gave me a chance to think back over the years to all of the generations that have gone before me and cooked noodles for their families...I thought about my great-grandmother rolling out the dough, assisted by her seven daughters. And then the day came when she could no longer roll out the dough and her daughters would come home, cook the noodles for her. And now, years later, it's my turn...I too was once cooking the noodles for my family, surrounded by children. But now they are growing up and soon, they will all have families of their own. It's weird--this cycle of life. Weird and crazy and beautiful.

-I'm thankful for Roy who is always on my side. No matter my latest musings or fancies--he quietly supports me, never says a single word of condemnation. If I need to go somewhere, he happily drives me. And if I want to go alone, he says--be careful and let me know when you get there (though I rarely do these days). He's a good guy and... I like him.

-And of course I'm thankful for Jace and how he makes me laugh. And how he's growing up. And how he's so insightful for a ten year old.

-I could go on regarding all of the things I'm thankful for. I love living in North Carolina; I love the holiday season; I'm thankful for so many, many wonderful friends that I've made through the years; for my sisters and nephews and nieces; for my pets--though I have far too many; for my job that I deeply love; and for modern technology that allows me to blog at 11:00 at night when, since I have to get up early in the morning to prepare for a day of travelling and visiting and eating, I should really be in bed.

It's a good life--one that I am thankful for. I like my journey...and I'm looking forward to where it takes me.

I'm thankful for a pair of shoes that feel really good on my feet; I like my shoes.

I'm thankful for the birds; I feel like they're singing just for me when I get up in the morning... Saying, 'Good morning, John. You made it, John.'

I'm thankful for the sea breeze that feels so good right now, and the scent of jasmine when the sun starts going down.

I'm thankful...

Johnny Cash

Day 32: Best Surprise Ever

So today? Pulled off the Best. Surprise. Ever. Darian's best friend lives in Wisconsin. They've been friends since they were literally 8 & 9 months old. Pretty sure they've never had a single fight--these two talk and giggle by the hour. But it's been 2-3 years since they've seen each other for any decent amount of time so for the Thanksgiving holiday, we made secret plans for Jess to fly here and spend it with us. We told Darian that Cesar, Roy's Texas friend, was flying in so when we loaded up the car to head for the airport at 9:30 tonight, she wasn't exactly looking forward to it...but of coure, she didn't complain. It was just all over her face.

So Jess texted me that she was off the plane and headed our direction and I quickly got Darian over to the gate. Savana was there with her camera so she could "video Dad seeing Cesar for the first time in a forever" and caught the whole thing on camera. When Darian saw Jess, her jaw dropped and she just stood there...and stared. And then, overwhelmed, she started to cry and walked toward Jessica. And they stood there in the middle of the airport with all kinds of people on all sides--hugging and laughing and crying. There were people sitting in some chairs that watched the whole thing and they said--That was just so sweet!

It was priceless.

So now they are downstairs and occasionally I can hear giggles. No doubt they will be up most of the night catching up. But that's quite all right.  I don't think I've had that much fun in a long time.

So yet another thing that gave me joy today? (And of course...compared to this story everything pales...) I took Savana to get her hair cut from Donna. Savana went to the mall on Sunday and got a drastic haircut--8 inches cut off.  But the girl who cut her hair failed to give her the layers she was hoping for so I called Donna and set up an emergency appointment for today. Anyway, while she was cutting Savana's hair, I told her that I needed to make an appointment for myself as Savana said I have a mullet (gr) and she said, "When you walked in, I thought--Vonda needs a trim! So I'll be able to squeeze you in too." And she did. So sweet. And so needed.

And there were many other good things about my day actually. Roy drove almost 600 miles--like a crazy man -- in order to take students home for the break and make it back in time to pick Jessica up from the airport. He too was eager to see Darian's face.

I skyped with Lori for far longer than I care to state in writing... :)  It was one of those conversations that was insightful and thought-provoking and left me longing for more.

And of course there's the obvious: first official day of break.

In the words of teenagers?

Bring it.

Day 31: Ramblings

So the day before break is always always always a relaxing day. Everybody is happier, lighter--and it just makes for a great day. Several of my freshmen were gone today so that in itself makes class seem easier--though they are genuinely a great class and I actually always miss the ones who aren't there.

 I've grown attached to these freshmen of mine.

But anyway, just before class was about to start I looked up and there stood Laurie. She had no reason to come--the mailout is complete, no more phone-a-thon to discuss. But she just bopped in to say hello.

Totally made my day.  I do like that girl.

And then after lunch Ricky came by for 'tutoring.' We were discussing his English grade and how he is only one percentage point from passing. So we went down the hall to talk to his English teacher, she found a way to add in some extra points for various things--and it all managed to bring him up to passing which translates into no more special study halls. He was so happy--grinning ear to ear.

Then Amy came and told me that Lisa is sick (both girls from Korea that I tutor) and they had to take her to the doctor. So I ran some books up to Lisa so she would have something to read over break and, as we were talking, asked if she wanted to come over for some 'chicken' noodle soup. She quickly said yes and so this evening I had Amy and Lisa for a soup dinner and then we watched My Sister's Keeper. These girls are precious.

And another major highlight of my day? At lunch Darian bopped in and we ended up having a quick but heartfelt conversation. Deep thoughts--and so. much. fun.  That conversation has hung with me all day. This Darianne girl...she's a keeper.

And then of course Jace says the funniest things. I could kick myself for not writing down his crazy statements over the years. But anyway...as we were coming home this evening from the grocery store, a Christmas song came over the radio and it sounded rather strange. I'm not sure what that guy ws doing with his voice. But Jace and I were just listening--quiet--when out of the blue he said, "Is that guy dying?"

No smile, no laughter. Just a statement. And it made me laugh.

Savana is home (before she leaves again to go with Guerin)  and I have plenty of salad and bananas (staples in this house-but they've been MIA for a few days) and the kitchen is clean and Sparti is asleep on my lap.

Pretty sure it's going to be a great Thanksgiving break.

Day 30: The Way to My Heart

So today was the Thanksgiving dinner here at Pisgah--the day where the Student Association cooks the whole meal and decorate the tables with tablecloths and such--and then the food is served buffet-style. It's always a fun night and the food is delish. (It's rare that I don't think the food is delish if I don't have to cook it.)

So a lot of my favorite things about this day occurred at this dinner:
1) Savana and Guerin came. I didn't initially think they would make it as Savana has to head back to Southern today and I figured she would leave around 5ish. But as it turned out, they DID come. And I love that they did.

2) Drew sat with us. I absolutely adore that kid.


3) Drew pays so much attention to Jace and I can't even begin to say how very much I appreciate that. Not only does he treat him with kindness, but he actually 'hangs' with him--includes him and plays with him and laughs with him. And--as all moms, the way to my heart? Be nice to my kids.

4) Joy sat with us. I've known Joy since forever--literally almost 18 years now. Our kids grew up together as we lived in Wisconsin at the same time. And of course our husbands are close buds. Joy is witty and easy to talk to and I always love her stories. So when I see Joy--and it usually takes me by surprise as she works and works and works -- it always lifts my spirit a little, makes me feel a bit lighter. Because Joy is special like that.

5) I always love being with Roy when he is in his element. He's clever and he makes me laugh. So he and Rick sat down at our table about the same time and it was fun. It just felt right somehow--surrounded by people whom I am comfortable with and that I love.

(The only glimmer of sadness in this picture is that Darian was flitting around fulfilling her SA responsibiities and such so other than a few quick glimpses of her zipping by, I hardly saw her.)

It's actually quite early still--only 7:30. So I have the evening in front of me. I think I shall read a bit, work on Mom's scarf, finish putting up the laundry, and maybe even crawl into bed before 10:00.

Day 29: Friends Since Forever

Today has been spectacular--simply because it has been unevenful; mundane even. Nowhere to go, nothing to do, no agenda to accomplish.

Lovely.

So a major highlight of my day? I got an email from my good friend Jeannie from Wisconsin. It was newsy and long and I reveled in every. single. word. I even read it twice--just to make sure I didn't miss something the first time. Jeannie is one of those rare friends that, no matter how long it has been since we last spoke, when we get together it is as though no time has gone by. We had the privelege of spending a few days together in Tennessee during the national teacher's convention. We talked nonstop and spent as much time together as possible...so hearing from her today? It was a little bit of heaven.  She's a comfortable friend -- a forever type friend -- and I miss her. Very much.

Then this afternoon Roy asked me if I wanted to go for a ride in his trans am. But I was busy at the time--so I said no, I didn't really feel like it. He did one of his disappointed shrugs and then left...without me. And then about fifteen minutes later I thought...you know? I kind of wish I'd gone. So I called him on his cell, told him I wished I'd said yes...and less than ten minutes later he was pulling up in the driveway to pick me up. So I grabbed the scarf I am crocheting for my mom and away we went--Roy driving his car of yesteryear and me crocheting in the passenger's seat. Roy proclaimed there was "something wrong with this picture." But no matter. It was fun.

My day was filled with lots of great moments actually--just little things...like Laurie helped me fix my scarf. She's so handy when it comes to knitting or crocheting--and always helps me with a grin. I skyped with my sister Lori this morning and that always starts my day with fun conversation. Darian wore high heels so she was just as tall as me--standing tall and beautiful and young and vibrant. Savana and Guerin watched a movie with us this evening and just before they left Savana snuck back up the stairs and performed one of her classic dances that always makes her father blush...and me laugh... at this girl who has rhythm and no shame. Roy and I watched Straight No Chaser perform The Twelve Days of Christmas on youtube. Pure delight. And little Sparty curled up with Piper--so comfortable and relaxed--as though they've been friends since forever.

Day 28: Out of the Blue

So today was the big mail out. Four hours of stuffing, sealing, sorting and counting. I had six kids who were helping me as today was service day so they 'threw a few' my direction. Originally I rquested the kids that I know to be highly motivated--but then they all ditched me for the pet shelter. (I can't believe they chose cuddly puppies and playful kittens over folded paper and envelopes but...to each his own, I guess.) So our chaplain chose six random kids to help that I don't know too well--but they truly did a great job. I mean--not that mechanically sticking paper into an envelope is complicated business. But anyway--here's the story I want to share. One of the girls was really annoying me. I gave her the job of sealing the envelopes and I'm pretty sure she was racing herself to see which envelope she could seal the slowest. And then quite frequently she would text...and then scroll through her texts...and then text again. It was agonizing. I made a few off the cuff comments--just to let her know I was annoyed and ... really. Could you pick up the pace a bit? I'd like to get out of here before next week!

So about the time I was pretty sure I was going to snap on her and bring her life to a violent end (just kidding...kind of...), this girl started singing. And she had the voice of an angel. So here we are--seven of us--up to our ears in papers and envelopes and sealant and rubber bands-- and she begins to sing--soothing, from-the-heart singing. And the room was still. I mean--we were all still working. But  nobody spoke a word. We just listened as she sing an entire song at the top of her voice.

And suddenly I wasn't annoyed anymore. Not at all. This girl who initially drove me a little crazy worked her way into my heart so that, in the end, I could hug her and tell her--with absolute sincerity--thank you.

Secondly, my nephew Jared texted me today--completely out of the blue. But the purpose of the text was to tell me that he received a high 'A' on the essay he wrote that I helped him edit. And genuinely that was great news. I am so happy for him. But the part that I loved the most about that text is that he initially told me that he was my stalker. So I replied that he could stalk me anytime. And then he said--I think I'll take you up on that.

It was just sweet--and it made me really happy.

And thirdly, Roy and I have looked forward to this evening all week as we both knew it was going to be rather crazy. I had the phone-a-thon and he had the elementary gymnastics clinic. So to celebrate that it's OVER and the weekend is finally here, we went to PF Chang's followed by Barnes & Noble. And honestly the whole evening was just so relaxing and enjoyable. We took our time, chatted, ate the most delicious food. And then when we got to B&N, I read and devoured as many bits and pieces of books as I possibly could in 45 minutes time (as that's usually the extent that Roy can handle the book store).

So on our way home, Jace made the comment that he would love to take a bubble bath when we got home, and I said we didn't have any bubble bath. And then whattayaknow...Roy took a right when he should have gone straight so I said...where are we going?

And thirty minutes later Jace was literally up to his head in bubbles.

Day 27: Just a Season

So this morning I noticed that my flowers are actually dead. Even the fern that I never hung up because I always kill ferns so what's the point of hanging it up?? but it flourished nonetheless--there on the side of the house, on the ground--where nobody could really see it unless they purposefully looked. Until today. And now it is shriveled--along with all of the rest of my flowers with the exception of a few marigolds. So this morning as I walked out the door I checked out my flowers--dead--and thought...I'm sorry they're gone but I'm thankful for seasons. Thankful for the chill in the air and the ice on my car and the heat inside. Thankful that my flower garden will bloom again...that's it's just a season.

And then I went to school and heaved a sigh of relief that phone-a-thon is officially over...and now the mailout begins. The organizing and folding and stuffing and sorting and mailing...begins. But it's rather fun actually. It's all about sitting around a huge table in the teacher's workroom and chatting with kids and adults. Lots of laughter. Relaxed. So though I'll be glad when it's over, I don't mind the process at all.

Then this evening I needed to grab a gift certificate at Mellow Mushroom. So I ran into the restaurant and the hostess pointed toward this quirky little office off to the side, so I stuck my head in and there was this guy with dreds working there. (How do you spell dreds???) Anyway, he was diligently working at his desk and so I hestitantly knocked...and he looked up. "Hey!" he said--all grins. So I told him what I needed and without missing a beat, he went to work to write up the gift certificate, chatting the entire time. He was just so friendly, so welcoming. And as I left that restaurant and headed back towards the car, I was thinking how similar we all are. Here's this guy who works in a restaurant and has dreds--not that dreds are bad but they are just so not my personal style, and they tend to give a rather earthy impression--and yet he's just like me. He seeks connection. He is just doing his job, living his life...just like the rest of us. And yet we're so hard on each other--so hard on people. And I really want to stop that. I want to be kinder, less judgmental. I want to even the playing field in my head because, really, we're all just doing the best we can.

The next stop was Barnes & Noble because Jace couldn't wait any longer to get his hands on the next Diary of a Wimpy Kid book--The Third Wheel. He has been anxiously waiting the middle of November when this book would be released...and it happened this week. So he went straight up the escalator and there on a rack was a stack of books. He carefully, tenderly reached for a book at the back of the stack--one that nobody else would have touched so that it would be perfect, and then went straight back down the elevator so that we could purchase it. Once we were back in the car he carefully read what was on the first few pages--soaked in the title page, the dedication page--and the he got to the first page. He started to read it and then said--Nope. I'm waiting until I get home because I want to be able to get in my pajamas, snuggle down into a sleeping bag and read this when I can really enjoy it.

And oh my goodness. This gave me so much joy. Because this rough and tumble boy of mine who loves to play basketball and be tough and cool adores books. He gets it. And there is so much there to be thankful for.

Day 26: 'Tis the Season

Phone-a-thon is officially over and I am bone tired. Honestly I can't remember when I've been so exhausted. But it's a good exhausted--at least something has been accomplished.  So YAY!! that it is finished. Over.  Behind me. Done.

Life is good.

So this morning I got in my car to head to school and the radio came on--as it always does now. (We never played the radio when we had the van. But with this car? It's never off. Weird how that happened.) But anyway, the station was playing Christmas music. And I literally stopped the car as I was backing down the driveway as it caught me by surprise so that I could listen for just a moment. Oh my--that gave me so much happiness. Christmas trees, lights, hot drinks, presents, shopping, and just so many good things all wrapped up in this holiday season. I can't wait! And hearing Christmas music playing over the radio? It reminded me that the season is actually here.

Roy even said today--We need to start playing Christmas music at home! That made me laugh. I'm pretty sure that's a first. Typically when I play music at home, he turns it off. So evidently he's feeling rather nostalgic himself. :)

A second highlight to my day is two of the girls I tutor for ESL had a major project due so they both cancelled on me today. I really do enjoy my time with them--but since this week is phone-a-thon and my day is jam-packed with lists of things to accomplish, a mid-afternoon, unexpected break was a welcome surprise. So Roy's workers bopped into the office for the car keys as they begged Roy to take them to Sonic (probably a weekly event) and he quite willingly complied so  I locked up my office and tagged along. It was fun--two silly kids in the backseat and Roy at his best--he loves entertaining kids with his off-the-cuff comments while he 'treats' them to his favorite hangout.

And though I hesitate to write this, I am just going to say that I was observed by our vice-principal today and it was a rather successful class period. Gosh I love it when that happens. When I'm introducing a new concept, I'm usually 'on my game' so...today I was doing exactly that...and in walked Kathy. Later my kids said, "Why was Mrs. Brannan here?" And I explained that she was observing me. So one of my girls whispered to me as I walked by, "Mrs. Seals, you're such a great teacher that you don't need to worry." That was my sweet Abby. I love that girl--always the encourager. They just don't 'make them' better than her.

Another MAJOR highlight of my day?? My sister Lori is headed back home to Texas. Oh. My. Goodness. I can't even say how happy I am about that. When she's home, we skype on a regular basis so I'm able to catch up on her and Tami's lives (as they are neighbors so usually when we skype, Tami is around). These sisters of mine? They are my friends. And when they're not around...gosh, I miss them.

So...lots of good things happened today. To sum it up? I came home for about 45 minutes this evening and the house was totally quiet. 45 minutes of just me time. I needed that. And then little tiny  9 week old Sparti attacked my deaf cat Bax who is a ruthless killer at heart--biting his tail--and Bax just turned and looked at him, then batted him on the head with his paw. Whew! Sparti has no clue has lucky he is to still be alive. And I was reminded today how thankful I am for friends like  and Laurie and Tammy who give of themselves for MPA...and for me.

Life can be complicated and difficult and painful and exhausting. But friends and family and husbands and kids and pets and students and -- well, so many more things -- make it all worthwhile.

Day 25: A Beautiful Thing

Another busy day...but good news. Tomorrow is day last of this phone-a-thon. I really enjoy hanging with Tammy and Laurie but...I am a bit tired of getting home after 9:15 every night. And I'm tired of no meals at home--eating in the caf is a nice change of pace at times but day in and day out and ... well, I'm ready for homecooked meals. So the fact that tomorrow is IT? That just makes me smile.

I had to run a few errands at lunch time today. One of those errands was dropping off library books that are due. (I deserve a pat on the back for that one as I actually got them in before a fine is due. Woohoo!) Anyway, so as I am pulling out from the parking space after dropping them off inside, this lady comes running out and waves frantically at me. So of course I rolled down my window, wondering what in the world is going on--Did I have a fine afterall??? And she runs up to the car, and hands me two one-dollar bills. "These bills were in between the books that you just brought back!" she said. So I took the money and thanked her profusely.

She could have kept those two dollars. I mean seriously--it wasn't much money. I would never have missed it. But this little librarian who probably doesn't make much money at all has integrity and doing the right thing--even if it's just a couple of bucks--means that if you have to chase down a lady in a car to give back what is rightfully hers, then so be it.

This sweet little librarian let me know that there are a lot of good people in this world--people who work hard and care about the little things. And that's a beautiful thing.

Secondly, I taught ESL today. Every day when I teach, one of the office workers peaks their head in to see if everybody is in class. Well, one of my freshman girls--Sam--checks up on my ESL class. Sam is one of those kids who seemed a bit 'dark' when she first got here. She likes to look at things from a rather ... 'twisted' ... perspective. In the beginning when I taught her class, she would watch me with her arms crossed and do her best to find something she could correct: 'You spelled that wrong' (on a power point)...'Your example isn't very good and I like to call it like I see it', etc... And really--it isn't too difficult to find errors when I'm teaching. I'm far from perfect. But with Sam, I just grinned and told her that she was correct--and good job with that! And I've watched for the positives--which really hasn't been difficult. She is a genuinely good writer so I find lots of reasons to encourage her. And as this semester has progressed, I've watched Sam soften. She smiles readily now and her whole face seems brighter actually.

Anyway--the point is, today when she came in to take attendance, I said--yes, everybody is here--and she grinned, so big, and did a happy dance. It was so out of character for her, so carefree and little girlish and adorable. It made me laugh out loud--and I had to resist the urge to simply hug her.

And last of all...phone-a-thon. I will absolutely miss girl time with Tammy and Laurie. It's been so much fun swapping stories and chattering nonstop. But this evening Laurie finished her knitting project so I quickly suggested she should  continue knitting--on MY project. And she readily complied. And that's pretty spectacular! Unfortunately, I didn't happen upon this brilliant idea until the evening was almost over...but still. Maybe tomorrow evening she will forget her own knitting so that I can -- once again -- take full advantage of that 'space' in between projects. :)

Actually, I had lots of pretty spectacular things happen today. It's funny how, now that I'm blogging, the blessings are just popping up all over the place. I'm sure they always have--but I wasn't so aware as I am now.

But here are a few things that made me smile: I had to create a database of addresses for MPA rep letters and Beth randomly told me that she already has the labels ready--all I have to do is push 'print.' Hours of work saved. Oh my--thank you, Beth Grissom. And then I ate lunch in the caf today and sat at a table with a bunch of kids. That made me thankful--oh so so very very thankful--that I am no longer a teenager. I do love teens but wow are they hard on each other. And tonight when I got home? I made my chai tea mix. It's all ready for 6:00 am.

It's been a great day.

Day 24: A Good Tired

I am absolutely looking forward to going to bed tonight!

It has been quite a day that started by arriving at school at 8:30 this morning so that I could meet with Ricky and just now getting home--at 9:30 tonight. Between teaching and tutoring and organizing and the phone-a-thon, it has been a full day. So now I'm tired--but it's a good tired. I have enjoyed this day--immensely. I will be quite happy to have this week come to an end but...overall? It has been productive. But gosh--I couldn't do it without Tammy and Laurie. I'm reminded of that every single night. They are lifesavers.

A definite bright spot in my day occurred around noon today. Roy was in the midst of his gymnastics clinic so I was going to run to town and grab him a tea and a burger from Sonic as he only had a few minutes for lunch--not enough time to run home. And since I was in the midst of my own craziness at school, I didn't want to take the time to cook. I am just over it--and when I'm busy? I'm really over it.

Anyway, I ran home quick to grab my purse etc and just a I was backing out of the driveway, I noticed a message on my phone. Usually I have a 'you have a message' signal on my phone for days on end, but this time I was intrigued. Whose call did I miss? So I --quite by chance -- decided to listen...and it was Roy. He got finished earlier than expected and had about 45 minutes for lunch so...he could go with me. We ran into town together, caught up on each other's news, filled the car up with gas and got back just in time to hit it again. But? It was a nice surprise and it made me very, very happy.

Another rather amazing part of my day? This afternoon when Jace got home from school, he asked me what time I was leaving to go back to school. When I said--5:45 or so--he very casually said, 'Okay.' He wasn't bugged about it, didn't beg me to stay home, didn't act annoyed or even slightly disappointed. It was nice. I didn't have to leave and feel just a tad guilty that he couldn't quite survive as successfully without me. I could actually leave him at home and have peace that he was just fine.

And even though this was nice...it made me just a little sad. Because truth be told, this boy of mine is growing up.

So tonight when I walked outside, I was surprised to see that it is raining. And I couldn't help but think that it's the perfect end to a rather long day. There is nothing quite so fabulous as going home, curling up in my bed with a book as the wind blows and the rain falls on my window...and falling asleep.

Day 23: The Master Delegator

So today has been consumed with a phone-a-thon. We (Tammy, Laurie and I) started this morning at 11:00 with a training session and ended around 8:30--by the time we had everything picked up. So it was a full day. I expected it to be a bit harried, crazy, running. But in fact it wasn't like that at all. Instead the three of us basically sat around a table and cheered when a student rang a bell, signalling success. A couple of times I actually had to answer questions but usually I could 'pass the buck' to Tammy or Laurie as they both know far more than me. And so it was basically several hours of chatting and laughing and with some really great people. Laurie spent some time knitting (I love being around people when they're knitting. Somehow it always makes me feel a little more relaxed, a little more at home) and shocking us with her jaw-dropping stories; Tammy kept life organized as she dealt with literally thousands of pieces of paper and answered questions and listened to everyone's stories in her special way that makes you feel like everything you are saying is the most interesting thing known to man! And me? Pretty much I just sat there and let them do the work.

The master delegator.

So I must say...it wasn't too bad, this phone-a-thon. I'm actually looking forward to a few more evenings of hanging with these girls who make me laugh and are willing to give of themselves to volunteer so that my life can be that much easier.

And then I have to mention Kobe. He's one of my freshmen and he's a bit edgy, this student of mine. But he has such a sweet side and it showed tonight. He took the time to pray with almost every single person he called and that alone makes me so proud of this boy who is trying so hard to grow up and do the right thing...even when it's difficult.

And then tonight after I turned off the all of the lights downstairs and locked the doors, I came upstairs to hang in the mancave with Roy for awhile. I happened to look over and there, asleep on his chest, was Sparti.

Priceless.

So though I've been dreading this day? It was pretty relaxed, pretty spectacular. Beth Anderson made some absolutely scrumptious chocolate chip cookies and shared them with all of us phone-a-thon peoples and Beth G came in to say hello--looking so adorable and beautiful as she always does, and someone brought those big fat cheetos that I unfortunately love and I ate WAY too many of them but gosh I like them and Jace said he actually had fun today and to top it all off, Roy's elementary gymnastics clinic was a raging success.

Day 22: Little Bit of Classy

So this morning -- in my email -- was this quote:

In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Success: To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition, to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." 

Those words have stayed with me all day. I want to laugh more, find beauty in the simple, nurture a garden patch, make a difference. 

And this quote? It reminded me of that. 

Another incredible factor of my day: Night of Worship at Foster. Once again, a group of kids sang their hearts out to their God onstage. I love listening to other people sing. But when it's a bunch of young people, it's special. It makes me cry with joy. And tonight--those kids definitely made me cry. Good job, music team.

Another cool thing about my day? I got my nails done. I've never done that before--and I'm not exactly sure how long it will last. I'm a country girl at heart--barefoot, socks on the sidewalk, blue jeans, and tragically I'm quite comfortable in a ponytail (tragic as it's not exactly my best look). And I wouldn't call 'gel nails' a real country girl thing. But? I like them for now. They make me feel better--even classy when, really, I'm not. It's something I've always wanted to try so now I can say that I have. A 'check' on my bucket list. 45 minutes of pampering.

Lots of joy.

And one more thing to mention: my friend Jacque and I talked for over an hour tonight. We've been friends for forever--literally since I was in high school. But over the past year we've reconnected and talk or text weekly. I relish our conversations as I am free to say anything, reveal everything.

Love her.

Day 21: Confessions

So today I had 2500 copies to make, compliments of a phone-a-thon we're having starting this Sunday. I had a lots to do in my office so I asked Landon Lowe--a junior here at MPA--if he would be willing to run the copies for me. He graciously said yes, with that beautiful smile of his, and said--'Anything else you need, Miss Vonda? I'm here for an hour and I'm happy to help in any way I can.' And then he proceeded to tell me how he can't wait to participate in the phone-a-thon because 'I love talking to new people.' And that's true about  Landon. Pretty sure he's never met a stranger. I love that he works in the office. Sometimes throughout the day I'll think--I should have an office worker help me with this...And then I immediately think--Nope. I'll wait til Landon arrives. Because he never lets me down--he cheerfully does everything I ask. Every. Single. Time.

Landon makes life on campus a little bit brighter. I like that kid.

So this week has been a major 'fail' in regards to cooking. As the girls grew up, I faithfully made three meals a day. I had this idea that they needed a hot breakfast before heading off to school, so I created a list of ten meals that I could make and rotate through a two-week period. I organized a quick lunch so that when we rushed home from school to eat, something was usually waiting--simple, but prepared. And then I made dinner--a real dinner with vegetables and a main dish of sorts. And really, I'm not a cook. I absolutely have recipes that I've perfected through the years. But I'm not one to be innovative or creative like my friends Sue and Dee or my sister Lori. I'm predictable. But anyway--then we moved to Pisgah and...well--things fell apart. Darian's expression says it perfectly as, when I tell her dinner is on the counter, she almost always responds with a look of complete surprise, followed by a: "Oh! You cooked? Wow!" Jace thinks that dinner was made to be eaten in front of the tv: you know--ramen and a grilled cheese. (Gosh I hope my mom never reads this blog.) Poor kid--he probably won't remember the days of eating homecooked fare (that didn't involve a package) around the table.

But anyway--here is the point: I made homemade cinnamon rolls tonight. Real, honest to goodness, homemade cinnamon rolls that involve flour and sugar and pecans and yeast. No frozen bread dough. No prepackaged rolls. The real deal that included getting dough all over my fingers and reading the directions five gazillion times as I couldn't remember how to do it. But...they are in the kitchen, on the counter...just waiting to go in the oven so that in the morning we can eat gooey, scrumptious cinnamon rolls--hot and cinnamon-y and delicious.

I can't wait.

I've had a great day today actually. Lots of good moments:  I watched the Chinese Acrobats perform at our school--compliments of the gymnastics team; I had lunch with Beth A. and visited a Christian bookstore where a drunk man opened the door for us, proclaiming that Obama is destroying our country and then he followed us in and found several customers to unleash his unwanted opinions on (I watched from afar--completely amused); Savana will be home tonight and even though it isn't to see me at least she's here, in our home, under our roof--and silly and laughing and begging us all to come hang with her in her bed so we can listen to her millions of stories; my house is clean---really really clean (and that's another thing that I used to do faithfully, each Friday--and now? I think...eh. I cleaned last week. It can go another week--or two).

But here's the kicker--the best part of my day.

When I said I was going to blog, Darian proclaimed that she too is going to start a blog. And it's open so I can read it. And then, as she decided to get cozy in her chair and write away (and she's so darned good at it), Jace decided it was time to ... become a dog. Or maybe it was a cat?? I'm not really sure. Oh wait. Yes I am. It was a dog as he was barking. So...I have a picture to share:

So there you go--Darian blogging; Jace in his cage.

Pretty sure it doesn't get any better than that.

Day 20: The Back of my Hand

I must admit, I love busy days--love the constant activity, getting things accomplished, talking with people, doing my job. And then I love coming home--a whole evening stretched before me--or maybe just an hour as is the case today. But nonetheless--when the day is done, Jace is in bed, the house is relatively picked up and I can just hang out and read, blog, check out the news, watch something on Netflix--or whatever I choose to do...that's perfection: one of my top two favorite times of day. (The other favorite part of my day? Early mornings, chai tea, just me.)

So today has been one of those days that started at 8:30 and ended...well, pretty much just now. And it was filled with so many great moments. One of them happened this evening at the study group I attend on Thursday evenings. We were talking about the negative 'mental chatter' that often happens with us women. Maybe it happens with men too--I'm not trying to make a judgment call here--but I do know that we girls seem to struggle with it a lot. And in that moment, I realized that that doesn't happen with me quite so much anymore. I've become nicer to myself  in the past few months. I'm not saying that it doesn't happen--sometimes I get really fed up with me and some of my hangups that create problems at times. But in general, I'm more at peace in the core of my being. I don't fly off the handle quite so much anymore--and that reality made me really happy on the inside.

Gosh I like the 40's. And I hear the 50's are even better.

Another great moment today is that I was able to enjoy some 'girl time' with Beth A. (Kind of weird. I've always liked the name Beth--when I was little, I thought I would name my daughter 'Beth' and now I have two friends named Beth and both work on campus.) But anyway, the gymnastics team went out to eat at Papa's & Beer, and since Rick (her husband) drove the bus for the team, she and I rode over together. Beth is one of those people who is always looking for ways to make life more...refreshing, peaceful, joyful...in the midst of stress and doubt and busy-ness. So we talked a lot about books and things we've read and what we really think about different aspects of life. It was fun and it made me really glad that we're friends.

I like Beth. A lot.

And then at our study group this evening Bonny was talking about how she misses those types of friends that you simply don't have to impress--you can have them over for Sabbath lunch even if you're simply opening a can of hot dogs. And that reminded me of the Fergusons, our friends from Missouri. They used to come over almost every Friday evening--and often on Sabbaths for lunch--and, between our two families, we'd throw a feast on the table. In the winter we often made chili and cornbread. In the summer, we often BBQ'ed. And sometimes we'd just throw whatever we had on the table and enjoy the conversation. Saturday nights we often played card games--and when their boys were home, things got hysterical. I loved those times together. They're still there in Missouri but life is busy--and often complicated--so we never talk to them anymore. But lots of times--especially on Fridays, I think about them and wish that I could pick up the phone and say, "Hey! How about coming over this evening for dinner? You bring the cornbread and I'll make the chili."

So tonight? I'm thankful for friends--the kind that I know like the back of my hand; the kind that finish my thoughts; the kind that, even though we may be hundreds of miles apart and never speak, when we get together it's like no time has passed; the kind that accept me for me--no expectation, no conditions.

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art; it has no survival value. Rather, it is one of those things that give value to survival.
-C. S. Lewis

Day 19: My Fish Creek Sweatshirt

So this morning I woke up feeling a bit stressed. I am in charge of the phone-a-thon that begins this coming Sunday so I have a mile-long list of things to accomplish. Of course my pile of grading is steadily growing and Roy has a gymnastics clinic that starts today so...all of these things were milling around in the back of my mind as I cooked breakfast for Jace and Darian then quickly shuttled Jace out the door and off to school...

...and came home to an empty house.

I still needed to eat breakfast and fix my hair--all of that stuff that I procrastinate doing as I pull life together each morning. But I decided that I was just going to give myself 15 minutes of stillness; of quiet. And that's exactly what I did.

Fifteen minutes to focus on living abundantly; fifteen minutes to find stillness (God); fifteen minutes to simply be quiet and find purpose for my day.

And once that time passed, I felt peace at my core. The stress was gone--totally relaxed.

And that peace has stayed with me throughout this entire day.

While I was teaching my freshmen this morning, I wanted them to understand what a caricature is as they had to create their own caricatures of a chosen character in a story we've read. So I pulled up some caricatures on Google Images and, of course, they were of people that are familiar: Angelina Jole', Will Smith, Obama, etc. So we talked about what aspects of their character the caricatures exhibited--and they loved it. They laughed, they discussed, and then they created. I love it when a class period is successful--when they 'get it' and have fun with it. Nothing better.

And then this evening there was a message in my Facebook inbox. I love getting messages. It's so exciting--not even kidding--seeing that I have a message. I get giddy inside, can't click on that little envelope fast enough to see who 'messaged' me. And this evening? It was Marcia Beaumont--one of my most favorite people from Wisconsin. I taught her two kids 'back in the day': Laura and Aaron. So many wonderful things I could say about this family. When I think of Wisconsin, their faces always come to mind. So when I saw a message from Marcia, I relished every single word. She inspires me with her kind spirit and purposeful living.

Many things to be thankful for today: Philip Thomas told me that his wife Alicen got a job (yay!!), we ate dinner in the caf (who doesn't love it when they don't have to cook or wash dishes??), Roy's clinic was a success (in fact he's in a dead sleep in 'his chair' as I write this. Poor guy--exhausted), it's cold outside and I was reminded of that as I walked to the caf--quite comfortable in my Fish Creek sweatshirt that always makes me smile, and this entire evening has been rather endless--plenty of time to talk to Darian and laugh at Sparty and chat with my sisters and all in all have a day that makes me glad that I'm 45 and alive and well in Asheville, North Carolina.

Day 18: Arms Open Wide

I am racing the clock as we were in a late-night staff meeting until just now...and I contemplated just going to bed. But I can't. I know myself well enough to know that the moment I relent on blogging daily, I will find a million excuses.

So...

The main thing that is fresh on my mind tonight about my day? The tender hearts of moms for their children. We met with a couple of kids and their parents: poignant moments of moms being brave while their hearts are breaking. I understand their pain. I've been there. And? I could easily be there again. It's a tenuous path we walk--we moms. And this love we have binds us all together--a community of moms campaigning for our erring children and pleading for others to see their tender hearts buried beneath a heavy facade. Though they didn't realize it--and most likely never will--I cried with them tonight. And though I wouldn't call this experience joyful, it reminded me how similar we all really are.

Another joyful moment today? Lots of laughter in my office. One student came in...then another...and before I knew it, several were crowded in my little hallway office. It only lasted a moment, but for that brief couple of minutes, I basked in their joy.

And finally, I voted today. Though so many are passionate about who wins this election, I can honestly say I am just happy to be a part. I am proud that I live in a free country where my vote counts. There are many conspiracy theories out there but I am choosing to focus on my freedom and the bounty life in this country brings--even when the economy is struggling. Even when I personally am struggling. At least I know that, for what it's worth, the struggle is my own. I can choose to work hard, I can choose to find opportunity, I can choose to complain...Or--

I can choose to open my arms wide...

and be grateful.

Day 17: I Am

Today I watched an Oprah show--Life Course. I must say, I love those shows. I find them insightful, encouraging, thought-provoking. And today that all proved true. She interviewed this pastor from Houston (naturally his name escapes me at the moment but he is quite famous), and they were discussing the power of 'I Am...' At first, I naturally assumed this referred to God but, in fact, that was an incorrect assumption. They were discussing the reality that we bring with our statements 'I am (blank). So if we say, 'I am FAT!' or 'I am exhausted!' or 'I am so overwhelmed!', those become our self-fulfilled prophecies. We give life to negativity and that negativity becomes our reality.

And that concept has stayed with me all day. I am determined to change the way I talk--to be positive about myself, my family, my friends. I absolutely believe this to be true so...from now on?

I am so happy that I am making healthy choices.
I am excited for my future.
I am strong.
I am capable.
I am intelligent.
I am victorious.
I am confident.
I am happy.
I am grateful.

And all of those 'I am ___ ' statements? They make me feel vibrant and happy and alive. They make me feel powerful, grateful.

Those I am statements give me joy.

Another moment today? I took Piper outside to play ball with him and as I was walking back inside, I noticed my flowers. Honestly, I am baffled that they are still alive. But not only are they alive, they are thriving! I don't really get it as it's been rather cold here. Evidently it hasn't reached 'freezing' temperatures so maybe that's how they are still managing to bloom in November. But anyway, those flowers have provided so much joy for me for several months. I've stopped a few thousand times and looked at them--reveled in their simplicity, their beauty.

And last but not least...we talked about human nature in my freshman English class today. We're reading a story entitled The Lady or the Tiger? and it delves into the theme of the condition of the hearts of humanity: are we inherently good or are we inherently evil? Anyway--I had my students journal about it for a few minutes and then we discussed their ideas. And they astounded me. They are only 15 years old (and several are 14 years old) but they spoke with depth today. They took turns, listened to each other, respected each other, and were free to express themselves, even when their opinion wasn't popular.

So in my humble opinion? My 21 freshmen exuded the inherent 'good' in humanity. They were, if only for an hour, thinking for themselves--thinking beyond themselves.

And I like that.

I like that a lot.

Day 16: Cardinals and other Rare Treats

One of my favorite things about raising teenage daughters is when the three of us are together, hanging out, talking--all the time in the world. We discuss the most ridiculous of things. I can't really say what we even talk about--not because it's private but rather because it's so mundane and nonsensical. And yet it's wonderful. Beautiful. And it spells family to me--unity and love and togetherness.

We have spent so much time together--the three of us. Friday nights were often spent huddled together on our big rocking chair: laughing, making fun of each other, philosophizing, crying...girl stuff. But of course--Savana is off to college now and when she's home she's often occupied with Boyfriend. And that's fine--she's so happy and content that I certainly don't begrudge her that. But nonetheless, I miss those moments. They are becoming more and more rare as the years go by.

And yet ... today it happened. It was one of those long afternoons. Guerin was occupied with football practice and so Savana was home--and up to her typical tricks of begging all of us to join us in her bedroom...the living room....or wherever she meandered to. But I had a ridiculous amount of ironing to do (evidently that's becoming an 'art' of days gone by as both the girls think that is the oddest thing in the world), so we all came upstairs and the girls hung out while I ironed. And--true to form--there was much laughter. Much talking. Just like old times...just like it should be happening every day and has been happening every day...

But it isn't. And it won't.

But that's okay. Because for today? It was perfect.

Another lovely fact about today? Time change. Who doesn't love when the clock rolls back an hour. Oh my goodness. It turns a lazy Sunday into an even lazier Sunday--one more hour to relish. Fabulous.

And then Nancy and Louie Parra invited us to Asheville Pizza Brewery to watch Hope Springs with Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones. Darian agreed to hang with Jace so off we went and ... what a treat! That movie was simply spectacular. We laughed so hard and ate (even though we shouldn't have but gosh it was good), and chatted with the Parra's and just had a fabulous time. We haven't gone out--the two of us--on a 'date' in a forever but that movie was inspiring. It's basically about a couple who has been married for over 30 years and the wife wants to renew their marriage. So...it made me think that, in fact, I really like this guy I'm married to but I want to be a bit more spontaneous, a bit more unexpected. And I'm glad that this movie reminded me of that.

So overall? Today was a genuinely good day. Darian took the SAT and felt so good about it and Savana made a new friend (Meredith) that travels to Asheville to visit her boyfriend often so now she has a carpool buddy and Jace rode his minibike for the first time in a forever and I saw a cardinal--so red and carefree and stunning--and little Sparty played with a hairband--tossing and jumping and contorting--and Roy's hand--his giant hand--held mine all the way home from the movie.

Day 15: A Perfect Life

It has been such a relaxing day. I love Youth Rally weekend--love the big white tent set up on campus and the music with kids singing their hearts out and Fall Fest on Saturday night and so much more. It's just plain fun.

So one thing that made me feel genuinely happy today is the knowledge that I am getting to know--really know--Pisgah kids. It's so refreshing after 2 1/2 years to be able to go to an event and have actual conversations with 'students.' Whether I was at the big tent or in the gymnasium, I was talking with kids...lots of kids. And I love that.

One of my freshman girls was in tears because she got her heart broken and she told me about it. She said, "Mrs. Seals, this boy hurt my feelings." She was being so brave and honest as tears brimmed in her eyes. She is so adorable. I told her to just wait, focus on other things--all the standard things that we adults say to kids who are so desperate to be loved and have a meaningful relationship with a person of the opposite sex far before their time. But of course, they rarely heed our advice. And it's heartbreaking to watch as I know that this little girl has the makings of  a brilliant future. I look at her and see nothing but bright lights.

I home someday she sees the same. And most of all, I hope she doesn't settle.

And another favorite moment is a conversation between Beth G and me. I had roamed around the gym a few million times, eaten far more than I should have. (The paninis made by Bonnie Musgrave were out of this world.) And then I decided it was time to head home. But just as I was heading toward the door, I ran into Beth A and Beth G who had just purchased their dinners. So since Beth A needed to work a booth, I sat with Beth G so she wouldn't be sitting alone. (Honestly she undoubtedly wouldn't have been sitting alone...I just used it as an excuse to corral her for myself.) But anyway, we started out just talking about our families and backgrounds but the conversation turned much more personal as we discussed various hot topics and before I knew it, Jace was there and begging to go home as he had a stomach ache. (I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that he had eaten a donut, smoothie, and soda for supper. That's what happens when I hand him a bunch of tickets and proclaim, "Have fun!)

I always love conversations with Beth. But tonight as we shared deeply personal stories...well. That gave me joy.

And then when I got home, little Sparty (the kitten--short for Sparticus...named by Roy who wanted to name him Achiles but I said that was far too complicated and I didn't really like the nickname--Kill--so could he please choose another as I got to name Bax and Bella and he was adamant that this kitten was his turn) was so very very very excited to see us. I was washing my face in the bathroom and in his enthusiasm, he fell off the vanity and landed on his face. And then he got too close to his OWN food and Piper, who has started acting like a rabied, starving maniac where food is concerned (they always say dogs act like their owners), snarled and somewhat attacked him. Well, these two incidences were simply too much for Jace to take. He started sobbing--just crying his heart out--and in between hiccups proclaimed, "But I wanted him to have a perfect life!"

“Come away, O human child!

To the waters and the wild

With a faery, hand in hand,

For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.” 

― W.B. Yeats, The Collected Po

Day 14: Blessings

Well this entry is ... simply ... going to be short. I spent WAY too much time skyping with my sister. It was one of those conversations that we could have kept going forever. (And, frankly, it gave me all kinds of joy.) We were discussing our purpose in life: what are we good at doing? what were we born to do? Thought provoking...challenging...It makes my head spin a bit.

But anyway--so we got a kitten today: an adorable, gray haired kitten with long hair and a kitten meow and precious kitten-antics. So so cute. He is microchipped, neutured and has his shots--all for five bucks from the humane society. And the best part? He's a lover. He fell asleep on my shoulder, on my lap, on Roy's lap, on Jace's lap--pretty much everywhere. It's what I love about cats--that whole 'lap cat' thing...and I'm pretty sure that's what I got.

Finally.

And then I just have to say--I really like this husband of mine. He's a pretty darned good guy. That was reaffirmed with this whole kitten thing. If the truth be told, he probably didn't really want a kitten. They are such a hassle and he's a bit of a worrier regarding all of our pets. But since he knew I wanted one, he very willingly obliged--no argument, no rolling of the eyes. Just a smile and a "Let's go see what we can find at the humane society." And then once we got there, he wanted to adopt EVERY SINGLE kitten that was there ( and there were a BUNCH.) "Oh hon, look at this one. Let's take him home!...Oh Vonda! Look at this one. He looks just like Bear did. Why don't we adopt him...Oh--check out how he's sitting. Let's take him home!" And so it continued--at every. single. cage. He was for real--no jesting here. He's a softie when it comes to animals with no homes. If it were up to him, we'd bring them all home...and then I'd get to take care of them. :)

But watching this big burly guy of mine...it just made me really thankful that he's mine.

I had lots of joyful moments today actually. It's Youth Rally here at our school and as I walked over for vespers, I could hear this crowd of kids--having so much fun. And then I watched Bekah Anderson sing her heart out and I just listened. And watched. And loved. I saw Beth G and Tammy and talked to them for a few minutes--real talk in the midst of lots of noise and people and stuff.

Savana came home and Darian had lots of stories tonight and I talked to Tami (my sister) who is so wonderful and deeply, deeply kind and the house is clean and life is good and I am so happy--so very very happy--to be alive.

Day 13: Looking Up

So this morning I was driving home from school--in a hurry as I needed to take the car home for Roy then rush back to the school to meet Tammy as we were going to lunch together. But as I flew down the hill and around the corner, I happened to look up. And for the first time since...well, I don't know when...I noticed the trees that are on the side of our house. And they were completely bare. Just stark trees, reaching up, exposed. In the flurry of that moment, it startled me back to reality--back to ... oh yeah. I haven't been too good at 'noticing' lately...I mean--how in the world are the trees completely barren of leaves and I didn't notice? Am I so focused on the inside that I forget to look around me? to look up?

So those trees? They made me stop...even if it was for just a moment...and remember how very much I love fall. And I don't want to miss it. I don't want to be so busy running and mulling and chasing that I forget to look around me and revel in it...forget to be still.

This afternoon I took Ricky and his friend Josue (the spelling of his name alludes me) to the mall so that Ricky could get his hair cut. So for that 90 minutes while I waited on them to 'do their thing,' I milled around Barnes & Noble. I just can't get enough of that store--so many books to relish! But before long, here they came--laughing and looking young and fresh as teenagers usually do. And in their hands they had a tray of coffees. Ricky picked up one of the cups, steaming hot, and handed it to me: "For you, Mrs. Seals." And I took it, thanked him profusely.

And the thoughtfulness of these two boys gave me so much joy...

...even though I hate coffee. :)

And then I was going to write about my study group this evening at Beth's house. Can I just say I love those ladies? I have been invited to an outing next week for a Taste of Home cooking school but I just can't miss our last session. Thursdays are always a special treat. But anyway...everybody is honest and genuine and encouraging. They are all my friends. We laugh--and cry. And when I leave, I feel affirmed. Every time. But tonight I told them that I am writing daily about things that bring me joy and, of course, they said, "Like what?" And typical me...I froze. I am just not a good 'on the fly' type person. I need time to think, to contemplate--even when the answers should be simple. So I stumbled through a response ... and then, naturally, when I got in my car I remembered things. Many things.

But I digress.

The point is...I loved the whole evening with so many people that I love. And that's what I wanted to write about.

And then the phone rang. And it was my nephew--Jared--wanting help with his essay. Just the sound of his voice filled my heart with joy. Lots of it.

Then after we hung up, a commercial came on that was hosted by values.com--'For a Better Life.' It has a country song about --when my life is over, will I have made a difference? And it shows a variety of scenes: a mom having a baby; a young couple getting married; a boy chasing a girl down the street, flowers in hand; an elderly couple sitting on a bed and he's gently stroking her face; a tombstone.

And for those few minutes that the commercial played, I was completely engrossed in the words, the scenes, that played out before me. Because truly--as most of us, I want to make a difference. I want my life to stand for something, to have meaning.

I want so much more than just the inside.

I want to look up.