Wearing Sunlight

I got my hair cut yesterday--just a trim so nobody would notice. I recently discovered this girl--Dawn-- who is about my age and I really like her (though I probably won't use her much more as she is way overpriced and I simply can't afford her). The first time she cut my hair she barely talked and I learned very little about her life. But yesterday? I got her story. And wow. She's on her third marriage; she has two sets of kids--four total. The first two are 26 and 23; second set are 9 and 11. Her oldest son just found out he has a 6 week old baby and the mom of the baby is a pot smoker living with her pot smoking parents and they deal for a living. I can't even imagine the horror that would strike my heart.

Poor Dawn. She's tired.

The entire time I was there she complained that it's the Christmas season; she doesn't feel like celebrating. She complained that it's too cold outside and the wind is bitter. She complained that when her kids visit, she can't wait for them to leave. She complained that her 9 year old girl is difficult and she can't handle her. And she complained that when it comes to parenting, she's over it.

She complained. A lot.

And I just listened.

And when I left, I felt so burdened. I mean, she definitely had a lot to complain about. And she definitely wore it on her face. She looked sad. And that made me sad.

And it made me think.

Sometimes life is just sad. Sometimes things happen that bring sadness in in their wake. Our kids make bad choices; our spouses annoy us; family strife; financial struggles; for pity's sake, we live in a complicated world with lots of grit. The list is endless. It isn't difficult to find sadness. Just look out your window. Just turn on your tv. Just open your eyes from a good night's sleep (or even a restless one)...

About a year ago, I purchased a book called The Tapping Solution by Nick Ortner. It's a little weird to be honest and I only read about half of it. But it has an interesting theory regarding tapping on some places on our body that are energy forces where "energy" gets stuck due to some type of trauma or stress. When we state the stress or trauma and tap on those places (there are 9 of them) cyclically, the energy is released and it allows the energy to start flowing again and brings relief and happiness to our state of being. Last night I noticed that "they" made a video about this. It's an hour and a half in length. They found 9 people and took them on a four day retreat--people that had been brutally injured by life: one man suffered from trauma from serving in a war; one man lost his soulmate in a traffic accident that he felt he caused; one lady had cancer, etc. By the end of the four day retreat where they taught them the art of tapping, every single one of their lives was transformed.

It was fascinating and I was inspired.

It's so easy to get caught up on the complaining train. It's the easy way out. But I want more for my life. I don't want to be stuck there. It's so ugly and it not only drags others down, it drags me down too.

My heart goes out to Dawn. Life has dealt her some swift kicks so I'm certainly not criticizing. She deserves kindness and a listening ear and I'm not immune to that. I'm just saying I want to focus on the light in the eyes of others; I want to see opportunity; I want to wake up to the joy of the Christmas season and family gatherings and blinking lights and laughter. I want to experience the beauty of now.

I want to wear sunlight on my face.