Choosing Unabashed Abandon

I love the weekends. Weird, I know. This morning I got up early just because I could have some extra time to read and think and spend exactly as I wanted before the world got up. I had this video that's been in my inbox for awhile that I've wanted to watch and so that's what I chose to view today. It was enlightening, inspiring. This man discussed how the the last three months of fetal development and then the first six years of our lives form the basis for human behavior. They create a "tape recording" for how we live our lives for the remainder of our lives. They provide imprinted recordings on our brains that play themselves over and over and over again.

Of course, this information had a purpose and went on to explain how we can "record" over this imprinting which was equally amazing and exciting--but that's not my point. My point is, when we really recognize this reality, it brings understanding to others. It opens our eyes to why others behave as they do. It explains destructive behaviors, repetitive patterns in families, and why, despite our best efforts, we turn out just like our parents.

Fascinating.

(I wish I'd known this information when I was pregnant, Oh, the things I'd change. But of course...)

Yesterday Darian shared with me a personality test she took online. It's quite simple in its approach. It has two lists of several behaviors and you have to choose which list reflects you the most. You do this four times and then it spits out a ridiculously accurate analysis of your personality. It's crazy! When I read Darian's, I felt like it was tailor-made for this daughter of mine, and so I wanted to take the test.

We had gone to Verizon as her phone was on the blink and she wanted a new one. So on the drive back home, traffic was a tad insane and I was fiddling with my phone as Roy weaved in and out, driving me just a wee bit crazy. Of course, Darian was in the backseat having all kinds of fun playing with her new phone as new phones are just the schizz. Anyway, so I asked Darian for the website, she gave it to me, and I pulled it up. "It's really simple," she said.

And then I read the first two lists.

And I read them again.

And again.

Possibly even again.

And then I sighed.

"Hey, Roy? Which one of these am I?" I asked, giving up. He answered without hesitation. As soon as he told me, I knew in my gut he was right. That boy. He knows me like the back of his hand.

And so I worked my way through the remainder of the next three lists fairly uneventfully and sure enough...it created a personality type for me that, in my opinion, was spot on.

How did it do that???

Personalities are fascininating to me. It's so crazy how the world is filled with billions of people who are each unique in their own right and yet we are all inherentlly the same. We all experience the same emotions yet may live entirely different lives. People are people are people.

And yet...

People are so complex and different and vulnerable.

The truth is, everybody desires love and acceptance. Everybody deserves a life of joy and unabashed abandon. But people are bruised--all of us, really. We are all hidden behind veils of pain to different degrees that others can't see. That video I watched this morning? It reminded me that I need to be more careful; I need to remember that we are all on this planet together giving it our best shot.

Sometimes people are simply reacting and maybe those reactions were learned in utero. Maybe they just can't help it.  Sometimes I need to step back and choose to see the good rather than judge based on my own perceptions which are simply that: perceptions.

 And meanwhile I am going to go about my day choosing joy, choosing happiness, choosing unabashed abandon.