What Counts

I am thankful for yesterdays.

Yesterday was a great day overall. I spent some time in Beth's office with Roy, just chatting it up. I vacuumed   the house--used the hose and moved furniture--a true blue vacuuming party. I made a delicious curry soup that is low-cal meaning I can eat 17 bowls instead of just two for the same "price". I talked to the girls and did yoga for the very first time. It was pretty fabulous--not even kidding. A little weird but...it sure felt good. And then? I read myself to sleep listening to the blustery wind outside. Perfect.

When I was in second grade or so, I remember hearing that they way they made cartoons was they drew a character on a page and then on the next page, they drew the same character in a slightly different position, and so on and so on...until they had pages and pages of this character. So when you shuffled the pages and watched the character, it appeared that the character was moving. I don't know if this is really true as it is my 8 year old perspective, but I remember them telling me that this is the way they made cartoons such as Bugs Bunny and such--so you can only imagine the hours and hours it would take to make a thirty minute show. That little tidbit of knowledge stuck with me through the years as I found it so baffling. Who would have the patience to draw that many pictures??

So last night as I lay in bed, I was thinking about that little tidbit and how it is so much like our lives. Our lives are made up of days--so similar in their "skeletons" and yet each day is "tweaked" with different experiences. We live in the same houses with the same people; work in the same offices in the same cities. And yet each day is filled with thoughts and conversations and experiences that make the day its own. And then, when you scroll those days together, they create a life--a life of thoughts and conversations and experiences.

So I am thankful for the yesterday kinds of days. But the thing is, give it a week and I won't have a clue what I did yesterday. (Honestly, it won't take a whole week for me to forget.) It will all become a blur, completely forgotten in the business of another day.

Sometimes I get caught up in the future. It is easy for me to worry about circumstances that I really can't control at the moment. It causes undue stress, causes me to forget the luxury of now. Because, rally, that's all I have--the now.

And so today I want to focus on living each moment to the fullness--not caught up in the memory of yesterday or the dreams of tomorrow. I want to make today count. I am excited about today actually--lots of good things planned.

I am going to get completely caught up in my office with grading and alumni stuff; I am going to sweep and mop the floors; I am going to call my mom. But what I am looking the most forward to is that we are going out to eat in our celebratory It's Friday ritual. I love that ritual--because it means the weekend is here and life is a bit more relaxed and everyone is happy and chatty.

Today I am going to create a day filled with laughter and good conversation and warmth. Ultimately, this day will probably be a distant memory, blurry and out of focus. But for now, it's all I have. And I'm going to live it with purpose, with joy, with gratitude.

And in the end...that's what counts.                              

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."  Mark Twain