Hands Free

We have become a media-obsessed culture.

Honestly, it drives me a little crazy. I have a friend who refuses to buy a smart phone because she doesn't want to be like the rest of us--obsessed with her phone. Gotta admit--I admire that. I wish I was so disciplined. But alas...

But the sad thing is, most of us have little to no cell phone etiquette. Even adults. I can't count the times I have been engaged in a conversation with someone only to have them pull out their phone and start texting while I am talking directly to them. It's a tad bit exasperating.

I pride myself on never doing that.

This morning I was laying in bed and thinking about venturing out from the covers. It felt so good--so warm and comfortable there, so I wasn't in any hurry. And then Roy said quietly, "Hey, Vonda. I want to tell you something."

I thought he was asleep. But he said it in a way that made me perk up. It sounded like he had some really juicy gossip to tell me so, of course, I rolled over so that I could hear him over the air conditioner fan.

And then he proceeded to tell me how he was driving Jace home from taking his buddy back to his house and he apologized to Jace for not making it to Jace's soccer game as he (Roy) had to work. And then Roy said, "But it's okay, Jace, because Mom was there."

And then Jace said...

"Not really. Every time I looked at her she was texting."

Kill. Me. Now.

Honestly, I am torn between publishing this post and deleting it forever in hopes that it won't always be embedded in my memory. Mother of the Year Award. I get that one a lot.

Tragically, he is right. I was participating in a conversation with a friend that I found more engaging than this game, frankly. I had a difficult time keeping up with Jace. Everybody looked alike out there on the field--dressed in the same colors, all the same height, lots of blonde running around. And it didn't appear that Jace ever got the ball--it seemed to always be on the other side of the field.

And so...I wasn't too worried about it. Obviously.

Meanwhile, on the other side of me was a mom who had no cell phone. She watched the game, her eyes on high alert, the entire time. She was the picture of Leave It To Beaver...sitting next to that girl who never does that.

I am filled with regret tis morning: regret that a conversation that absolutely could have been postponed to a time when others weren't sacrificed with little to no effort; regret that my son felt ignored; regret that that other mom on the bench noticed my irreverence; regret that I have become so deeply engrained in a practice that I frown upon.

So when I got out of this bed this morning? I left my cell phone. Normally I keep it beside me in these early hours by the off chance Savana will text me as she sometimes does in the morning when she gets up. And, of course, that's important. But I want to become aware. I want to retrain myself to stop looking at a screen and engaging in texting conversations that cause me to ignore the very things that are in front of me.

Not too long ago I watched a video that circulated Facebook about a girl who went through her day without her cell phone. Everywhere she went were people missing out on life. They were too busy recording, too busy texting, too busy talking to someone they couldn't see. And as a result, they missed out on so much living.

That's me--the girl behind the cell phone.

And so...

I want to stop checking Facebook a million times a day just because I can.

I want to say, "Wait. Where is my cell phone??" because I forgot I had one.

I want eye contact.

I want to be present--present for others, present for my husband, present for my kids.

I want to live, fully engaged, fully alive.

And so this morning I am venturing out into the world with my head up, eyes wide open--

Today I am alive.