Remembering Compassion

Sometimes compassion makes all the difference.

Yesterday was parent/teacher conferences at Jace's school and so, after my Freshman English class, I took the golf cart up the hill to meet with Eileen Fuller.

Yesterday was one of those days where the sun couldn't quite make it from behind the clouds and it was chilly--pretty much a "Let's stay home and watch movies and drink hot chocolate" kind of day. And my students clearly felt that way as we simply couldn't get on the same page. And so ... I was frustrated. They probably were frustrated with me as well, for the record. But since this is my blog....we won't worry about that fact.

Anyway, as soon as I walked into Eileen's office, I began to talk about my teaching woes and of course, she totally understood. And from there, we talked about kids and heartaches and life and retirement and ... so many things. I think we did manage to talk about Jace for a few minutes and that's a good thing. He is doing well and I am proud of him--and thankful for her kind spirit as she has been such a huge part of his success this year.

But when I walked out of APCS yesterday, my step was a little lighter and I just felt so thankful. Eileen's compassionate spirit changed everything.

Later I  had a conversation with a good friend of mine from high school days. We don't talk too often but our conversations are always real because we've known each other since we were fourteen. He is so successful financially, has such a generous, helpful spirit, and is so welcoming to anybody. But he shared with me some of his own feelings of inadequacy that he experiences each day.

And it broke my heart a little.

Because when I am reminded of this friend of mine, I see so many good things. I see kindness and love. I see open arms.

There is a video circulating Facebook that shows moms answering the question: Are you a good mom? All of these moms answer the question with how they could be a better mom. But then they ask their kids  about their moms. All of the kids beam with love and gush words of appreciation and happy experiences.

Sometimes we are just too hard on ourselves. We see ourselves through critical eyes, assuming that's how everybody else sees us. We give others compassion while we silently berate our own insecurities and frailties.

I think there is a better way. I think there's room for kindness--not only for others, but for ourselves.

So yesterday I was thinking about these things. And it made me so grateful for so many people in my life--people that are kind and open; people that are gracious and here just so that my journey on this planet is a little easier.

I am thankful for people like Eileen who give everything they have so that my son can gain an education; thankful for people who are generous with their time and money; thankful for life on this planet that provides opportunity for so many good things.

And I was reminded that when I  am ready to berate myself with those negative thoughts that sometimes consume us all, I need to simply stop.

I need to remember compassion.