Names Matter

My mom left on Wednesday afternoon, just before I got off work. It has been the most amazing almost-two weeks of my life. My word! Mom is 80 years old but one would never know it. I'm so thankful for her sacrificial spirit and willingness to come here solely for the purpose of easing my life. Mom is a trouper. I miss her so much already. Every afternoon, when I walked in from a day at work, she would be folding my laundry, the kitchen sparkled, and Jace had been well-entertained. It was a good reminder of how Mom lived with us for two years when we had Ciara. We got along perfectly--and that is a beautiful thing. A rarity really--that your mom can live with you for an extended period of time with relatively no issues after you reach adulthood and are married. My mom? She's a jewel.

It feels like fall around here. The morning air is crisp when I let Piper out--more like late September than mid-August. It makes me hungry for autumn: leaves that glow hues of brown and orange, sweatshirts, and marshmallows over a fire.

Yesterday was early registration her at MPA. When I got home from work, I headed down to the school to say hello to Roy and see how things were faring. I felt a bit nervous, to be honest. Would it ruffle my feathers a bit as I wasn't involved? as I wouldn't be welcoming kids with open arms and the familiarity that comes with teaching students in a classroom? But this time around, it didn't phase me. I do believe I have fully transitioned from the world of education to my life as it is today. It's interesting what a year will do.

As I was walking down to the school, I was called over to the gazebo by one of my girls whom I taught her freshman year: Sam. I walked over and chatted with her for a moment, asked about her summer and such. She was sitting by a young kid that looked like an incoming freshman and so I asked him, "Are you going to be a freshman?"

He kind of laughed and shook his head no.

"Sophomore?" I asked.

Still shook his head.

Sam said, "Mrs. Seals, he was here last year. He's going to be a junior."

"Oh!" I laughed. "I'm not around much--I don't think I've met you."

"No--you've met me," he countered. "I'm Nathaniel and I was actually at your house once because Coach showed me his man cave."

Great.

I hope that isn't a sign that I'll get Alzheimer's one day.

Maybe I need to subscribe to that website that has activities for the brain.

Maybe I need to be more aware, more present, when I am introduced to others. I think I live in my head too much. This conversation with Nathaniel? It was a reminder that people come first, that names matter, that if they remember me and I don't remember them...well, that is a problem.

One time when I was a junior in college, I took a writing class. I had this professor who was an atheist, actually, and loved to make fun of Christianity and the devil and such. Anyway, he was a critical grader and I just couldn't get anything above a B+ on any of the papers I submitted to him. We had to write an essay a week, if I remember correctly, and we went through the whole writing process with each one, including researching to back our opinions and then group evaluations. I never gained his approval. But one day, towards the end of the semester, I was in the student lounge when this professor walked in and saw me standing by myself near a corner, waiting for a class to start. He immediately came over to me and said, "I loved your essay."

"You did?" I asked, incredulous.

"Yes! It was incredible! I loved your stance on your position, your reasoning, the way it flowed together. It was flawless. In fact, I think you need to send it in for publication."

"No way." My jaw dropped. I couldn't believe it! Finally--he actually acknowledged something I had written! I was flying high.

And then he patted me on the back and said, "Well, you have a great day, Sarah. I'll see you in class."

And everything collapsed in that moment. Because Sarah? She was a tall blonde student who sat next to me in class.

Clearly my professor didn't see me.

This year here at the academy I'm going to be helping in the dorm with worships. I'm excited about that, actually. I hope to be relevant, to share words that bring hope and comfort and peace.

I am going to focus on seeing these kids, each one--each one as a gift, as a person who matters.

I want to know their names.