Monday, August 17, 2015

Guardian of Kindness

Yesterday I went to a funeral.

Savana's boyfriend, Guerin, lost his grandpa a couple of weeks ago, and they had the service yesterday. I've never met the man, but after hearing about him, I feel I have missed out on something special.

Mr. Williams received a purple heart from President Eisenhower. I don't really know what happened, but I do know that is a rare and beautiful thing. About four people stood up to pay tribute to this man who made such a difference in their lives. And then Spencer, Guer's brother, sang while he played the piano-- I Will Rise. And that was it for me. It was beautiful, soul-stirring, powerful.

Ah--it makes me cry just thinking about it.

But this man whom I never met? He reminded me of how important it is be kind--because that is exactly what he was. He made everyone feel as though they were important; he thought the best of others; he didn't gossip or demean; he never raised his voice; he loved.

The director of the assisted facility where Mr. Williams lived said, "The sadness we feel in our hearts today is the price we pay for loving someone. But I can't imagine this world without Mr. Williams. I miss him."

I've known people who are guardians of the right way. They are exacting, wielding a large stick as they go about their lives pointing out what is wrong in the lives of others--lots of let's pray for them statements and posting quotes that pose as sermons in order to convict others of their sinful ways.

And then there are guardians of their offspring--helicopter parents who refuse to let their kids out of their sight, who protect their children from experiences that help kids learn how to be responsible for their actions and survive in this world.

There are guardians of a cause--health, animals, dogma...

And then there are guardians of kindness. Mr. Williams? He was a guardian of kindness.

Yesterday was registration here at MPA and they always serve a free lunch. Jace and I headed over to the cafeteria at the same time as Gary, one of our neighbors. I ended up sitting at the table with him and he was telling me an experience he had with a student as he is a professor at a nearby university. Anyway, the student made a really rude comment to Gary that was demeaning and utterly unnecessary. Of course, I'm sure it didn't affect Gary personally as this comment came from a kid rather than a peer, but we talked about the fact that we don't get "mean".
But, sometimes? Well, sometimes I'm mean. Sometimes I don't think the best of others. I don't strive to find the good but, rather, nurse my wounds and feed my own negative perceptions. Sometimes I share too much that really doesn't need to be shared.

But this morning I am inspired by a man who lived a life built on the importance of relationships, who strived to be kind no matter the cost to himself, who loved freely and unabashedly.

When my life on this earth is over, my greatest hope is that someone will stand at that podium and say, "We are sad today because that is the cost of love. Vonda was so kind and I can't imagine this life without her. I will miss her."

I want to be a Guardian of Kindness.

2 comments:

  1. Me!! Me!! I'll say it!! Of course I won't be able to speak from holding back sobs, but I can hold up a sign that says it because it's true!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'll be holding up that sign with Ms. Tammy! Ah this is so beautiful. I want to be a guardian of kindness too. He must have been such an amazing man.

    ReplyDelete

Diamonds Everywhere

I read a study recently that said that greatest single indicator of a long life well-lived is deep social connections. Of course, there are...