Post-Birthday Celebrations

Birthday celebrations are behind me and a whole new work week is in front of me.

It was a great weekend.

Darian and Jared came home Friday night and we celebrated Darian's birthday with chicken pot pie (minus chicken plus "vegetarian" chicken) and cheesecake (a "cheater' recipe that doesn't have a lick of cream cheese) with strawberries. And since, of course, I forgot to buy candles--and I threw away the #8 candle I used on Savana's cake...well, we happened upon a little fake candle that has this tiny flickering light and operates on a battery. But it was fun and we took lots of pictures and laughed a lot and just enjoyed the fact that Darian turned 20 and she was home and Jare was home and we were all gathered around the table together.

Sunday was Roy's birthday and so I made a Dutch apple pie that really was as good as the reviews said. Roy bar-b-qued burgers and I made potato salad that always reminds me of my Aunt Lois as it's her recipe and it's, at least to us, the best potato salad ever. We were going to take the whole clan out to a movie as the grand finale but...everybody between the ages of 19-22 had to study and so Roy and I opted for Walmart instead. We rarely shop Walmart these days but...there are some things that one can purchase there that are so much cheaper than Food Lion. So off we went for a birthday celebration a.k.a. grocery shopping. But it was genuinely fun and relaxed and it took us an unusually long time.

By the time we finally pulled into the driveway, Drew was at the house as he'd come over with Guerin and so they helped us haul everything in one load. Shortly thereafter, Darian and Jared loaded up and away they went, waving until they drove around the bend.

I hate it when they leave, Mom, Jace said. But he wouldn't have had to say a word because his face said it all.

Last night, just before Darian left I was sitting on the living room floor folding clothes and I looked up at Darian who was standing next to me and said, "Next year? We are simplifying birthdays. I think we'll just combine all three into one celebration."

She laughed. "Right, Mom. I was just telling Rachell how you always say we're going to simplify and we never do. Next year won't be any different."

And she's probably right.

And that's okay...because soon enough, all of these birthday celebrations will just be memories, pictures in a "birthdays" album on my computer. Before too long these girls are going to fly the coop, leaving me picking up the phone for a birthday conversation and saying I'm so sorry I didn't mail a card! as mailing cards is definitely not my strong point despite my good intentions. And then I'll smile at Roy and say Remember when we had to cram all of those birthday celebrations together? Gosh those were fun days...

And so, most likely I'll continue the tradition, one year at a time, for as long as I can, until time does its thing and leaves me smiling wistfully...Those were the days.

And most likely? I won't have to say a word because my face will say it all.

Believe It

This past Sunday Roy and I went shopping for an electric "gas" stove. (Roy always shakes his head when I call it that, proclaming that it isn't a gas stove. I say--but it looks like a gas stove! He says--it's just a stove. But? This is my blog so I get to call it what I want.)

When we first moved here, one of the things I absolutely loved about this house is that it had an actual gas stove. There is a gas tank behind the house--it's quite old and delapidated but it's a tank--and I could not wait to fire it up once winter hit. And so, as soon as the days began to get a little chilly in the mornings, I called the gas company and they came out and filled the tank. I enjoyed about one weeks' worth of flickering fires emanating coziness and warmth in my living room and then? Well suddenly that was that. I couldn't get it to fire up for the life of me.

Frustrated, I asked Roy to come help me and he tried...and tried...and said, It's out of gas.

That's impossible! 

But he was right. The tank had a leak and so, the school agreed to fill the tank after the company came out and fixed the leak. Once again, we had the ability to create that perfect picture of the adorable family you see in magazines gathered around the gas stove: mom is knitting and the kids are lying on the floor with books in hand while Dad has his feet propped, reading the newspaper and the cat is curled up with a smile on its face.

Yeah.

Pretty much that's us.

Believe it.

And so I happily went about my mornings once again. As soon as I got up, I turned the gas stove on and it warmed up our living room in no time as I contentedly went about my early morning routine...for one week.

And then? The gas stove went out.

And this time we learned that the gas tank was just plain defective. It had leaked again. And so, frustrated and annoyed, we hung up our hats on the idea that we got to be the perfect family snuggled around the gas stove. Clearly it wasn't going to happen.

Our weather is just beginning to get a little cool in the mornings. Fall is in the air. It's time to switch out short-sleeved shirts for sweaters and sandals for boots. Caramel apples and simmering soups and colorful scarves are headed our way. And so, I said to Roy on a whim this past weekend, Let's get an electric gas stove so we can be that perfect family!

Because all it takes is a cozy fire in the livingroom, you know.

And of course, Roy is always game for a shopping adventure if it doesn't involve clothing. And so off we went. But tragically, Home Depot hasn't received their shipment yet. Christmas trees and Christmas decorations line their aisles. (Christmas season seems to be getting earlier and earlier these days.) But their "seasonal" items haven't, otherwise, quite transitioned to the fall/winter items.

And so we left empty handed.

But that's okay. I've taken the measurements. As soon as that shipment comes in, I'll be there like white on rice. I have dreams to fulfill.

Because this is what my days are going to look like this winter:

I will be knitting on the same bag I've been attempting to finish since last winter (Laurie! I need help!!) while Roy reads his Pontiac magazine with his feet propped up and my kids are lazily lying on the floor reading their books quietly without arguing while Sparti and Bax are curled up around the fire, contented smiles on their faces.

Believe it.

Celebration Seals' Style

September is the month of birthdays. Savana was born on the 18th, Darian on the 26th, and Roy on the 28th. By the time Roy's birthday rolls around? We're all tired of celebrating and out of money so he gets a happy birthday! with a slap on the back and we call it a day. Ok, it's not really that bad. But he definitely gets the short end of the stick.

Savana has been celebrating her birthday all week, complaining But it's my birthday! anytime she doesn't want to do something. For instance, if I say, "Hey, could you help me empty the dishwasher?"

But it's my birthday!

Do you think you could water those plants outside?

But it's my birthday!

That sort of thing.

It's really cute.

And so, Tuesday was deemed Shop for Savana's birthday day. Roy picked me up at work and we headed straight for Target as they tend to have a little of everything and the main thing on Savana's list was a straightener. And then we headed to the grocery store so that I could make her a lemon cake and a Thai curry dinner. So by the time we got home and I whipped up a homemade birthday cake, my day was at an end and I gladly sank into bed.

Yesterday I walked in the door and went straight to the kitchen to get started on dinner. Savana had done some shopping as well and created these beautiful raw spring rolls (I'm really not sure what they are called) but they were absolutely delicious served with a sweet and sour sauce. Guerin joined us and we had a traditional birthday dinner Seals' style. The only thing missing was Darian. We considered setting a plate at the end of the table and taking a picture of it in her honor, texting it to her with the words The only thing missing is you.

But we were starving because...

Roy spent the entire day working on his trans am as the door was difficult to close. And so he took the entire door off and fixed it. He's weird like that. Who takes off the door of the car? Anyway, he was so frantic to get it done that he skipped lunch.

Roy. Skipped. Lunch.

Breathe that in for a minute. Roy never skips a meal. In fact, one of his catch phrases is I can't eat pancakes for supper because that's breakfast food and then I'd have to eat two more meals to finish up the day. Skipping meals is not in the vocabulary.

Meanwhile, while he's skipping lunch, I'm sitting at work anticipating his arrival because he's on break and so I just know he's going to show up even though he told me not to count on it and so I keep checking my phone, expecting to see the classic text from him: Here. But actually it would look more like this: lkasoikhe3kj. Because he hates texting and doesn't want to take the time to spell out the word on his phone that is older than the hills.

And that's because every time it's his turn for a new phone one of us is frantic for it and so he happily gives it to us but now he has a grudge and holds it over our heads, especially if someone dares to make a comment that his phone is a bit...out of date.

I digress.

Savana hadn't eaten all day either in anticipation of the big birthday dinner so she was cranky as all get-out by this time. And Jace? Well, he'd forgotten his lunch. Every morning I pack his lunch and stick it in his backpack but this particular morning I left it in plain sight on the table, expecting that he would figure out that he needed to stick it in his backpack. And of course, I reminded him as I headed out the door. But he didn't listen, obviously, shockingly, and so his lunchbox remained on the table and Jace went to school without it.

How much longer, Mom? No, seriously. How much longer? 

So the thought of postponing dinner for even thirty seconds for the sake of taking a picture to send to Darian was out of the question. And so, we all just looked at that empty chair for a quick moment, thought tenderly of her, and then dived in.

While we were eating, Jace said, "Why can't Darian come home? She could just tell her teacher that it's her sister's birthday."

He was dead serious.

"Professors aren't that understanding, Jace."

"Well, I don't know why," he said, clearly disgusted.

After we'd consumed way more food than we should have, we did a quick clean-up as that's my rule: clean kitchen before dessert. And then? Time for dessert. And in typical me-style? I'd forgotten to buy candles.

When do I not forget the candles?

And so, I scrounged through the bottom drawer where I keep odds and ends in search of a candle, any candle, please let there be a candle as what's a birthday without a candle? And there, underneath the Saran Wrap, was a number eight candle, complete with a few years' worth of dusty accumulation.

But it was a candle.

And so I precariously propped it on top of the cake, lit it, and we all sang a quick happy birthday to you...while Savana basked in all of that attention before making a very very long wish for pete's sake is she ever going to blow out that candle?? It's going to start dripping!

And then, while she dined on lemon cake topped with fresh strawberries, she opened her gifts in a verrrryyyy eternal fashion, careful to tear the tape just so so that the paper isn't torn in the process. And seriously, why? It just gets tossed in the trash. But that's what she does. Every single time.

So a million pictures later, the gifts were opened, the kitchen was cleaned, and we all headed out the door for Best Buy as Roy needed speakers for the trans am.

And that is why, by the time we finally got home at 9:00 yesterday evening, I toppled into bed, exhausted from the day's festivities.

And that is also why, after we repeat all of the above for Darian, Roy gets the short end of that stick.

Because seriously, folks...after two days of celebration Seals' style, I just don't have any energy for more.

Digging Deep

When Jared and Darian were home a couple of weekends ago, they wanted to watch a movie on Saturday night. We'd already spent a couple of hours playing Clue and it was getting close to 10:00 and so, as we sat in the living room perusing titles, I looked anxiously at the clock and said, "How about an episode of Friday Night Lights?" I really don't have the ability to stay up late these days and I figured there was no way I was going to stay awake for an entire movie.

Jared shrugged and said he'd give it a try but, honestly, I wasn't too hopeful he would like it as it's a drama. Anyway, I went to bed after one episode and he and Darian sat on the couch and watched a second while I headed for bed. And that was the end of that.

Last night I got a text from Jared: Thanks a lot, Aunt Vonda. You gave alcohol to an alcoholic.

Accompanying the words was a picture of the first season's titles of Friday Night Lights and his current episode was highlighted. And Jare? Well, he'd clearly watched at least half of the first season--maybe more.

Oops. Sorry about that, Jare.

We all have our vices. 

...Soda movies coffee cell phone games Facebook Youtube workaholic gossip anger junk food ...

The list continues. 

Sometimes it's easy to focus on the vices of others, or even the vices of ourselves and become fixated on those things. Or? It's easy to just become consumed and let those vices take over our lives. Piper is a prime example of a vice taking over his life. He's consumed with a tennis ball. The weird thing is, our dog Sam was consumed with tennis balls too. He'd go absolutely nuts over them. One time I got the bright idea of filling a bag with tennis balls and then dumping them all at once in our yard. Oh my word he went crazy, scrambling around the yard and picking one up, spying another, trying to fit it into his mouth as well, dropping both and heading for yet another...round and round and round. He was the prime example of hysteria. Piper isn't quite there yet, but nevertheless, he's a little bit nuts when it comes to tennis balls.

I have plenty of vices, frankly. I can easily become consumed with my cell phone, allowing it to entertain me for hours. And potato chips and dip? Don't even get me started.

I used to condemn myself for those sorts of things--my thoughts filled with angry accusations of why can't you get it together.

But I've realized, in my old age, that life is, in my opinion, more of a journey than a catalogue of black and white. When we look back at our lives, it's a road map filled with mountaintops and valleys...and then smooth sailing highways. It is a culmination of experiences that brings wisdom and empathy for others and a worldview that becomes more defined the older we get. And hopefully, hopefully, that worldview just gets kinder and kinder along the way.

And so, dear sweet Jared, it's all about finding some balance in one's life. Sometimes we just have to take a deep breath, dig deep, and make the choice that makes one's life better in that moment, recognizing that it isn't so much about being bad or good...it's about creating a future that is bright and welcoming.

And you, my nephew, are well on your way.

The Bucket List

Yesterday we got up at the crack of dawn, not the norm for a Sunday, and I made breakfast burritos and packed lunches for everyone so we could head out the door at promptly 8:30. Savana helped Guerin with trash (as he works on a trash crew) and as soon as they got home, they showered and stuffed themselves as quickly as is humanly possible.

We left a little before 9:00. Pretty good for the Seals'.

We arrived at the racetracks in Charlotte a little before 11:00. I have never attended the drag races before so this was a first for me. I had absolutely no idea what to expect. But, this was on Roy's bucket list so we bought the tickets a few weeks ago and have anticipated the "big day" for quite awhile now.

It was incredible. Oh my word we had fun.To say it is loud is an understatement. Thankfully, Roy came prepared and had ear plugs for all of us. We watched those cars race and we laughed and cheered and stood up to see who got across that line first for several hours. But then, sadly, just before the finals, gray clouds started to gather above us and then the rain began. The event was cancelled around 4:00 and so we threw our jackets over our heads and perused the booths in the big lot in front of the stadium as none of us were quite ready to head out just yet.

On the way home, Roy said, I've crossed more things off of my bucket list in the past six months than I have total for the past ten years.

I love the idea of a bucket list. I have one, too--sitting over in a small notebook on the bookshelf here in the living room. I used to have one on my laptop that was quite extensive. I added to it on a regular basis...but then my laptop crashed, taking all of my saved documents with it. So I started a new one, hard copy style.

About an hour away is this 4-hour-zipline experience that looks phenomenal...
--a professional sporting event
--a symphony
--swimming with dolphins
--flying in a hot air balloon
--visiting Alaska
--writing a book...

Living with purpose. Diving into life headlong.

It's time to let go and see what life has to offer as, really, that's what life is all about.

Changing Seasons

Last night we got the real McCoy thunderstorm. Thunder rattled the house and lightning lit up the sky and rain pummelled down. Jace and I sat in the living room together and just grinned at each other.

It's a perfect Friday night, Mom.

Sure is, Jace.

Yesterday as my co-workers and I took our walk around downtown Asheville, we noted how autumn is in the air. The trees are beginning to turn just a bit and the air has a briskness to it that it didn't have before. My word, I love fall. Sweatshirts and lit up gas stoves and chili with cornbread and the promise of the holiday season just around the corner. What's not to love?

This morning in my Inbox was an email from University of Phoenix. It was a bonified email--not an advertisement--and the person that sent it was asking if I had any continuing ed needs. A couple of years ago, I took some classes for my ELL certification. And so I sent her a quick reply, stating that I now work for the government and won't be in need of those types of credits--at least not anytime soon. And maybe...not ever.

Thursday nights Roy has caf duty which translates into a free meal for the family. I love Thursday nights as it gives me an opportunity to talk to staff and students and eat free food that I didn't have to cook and walk away without washing dishes. It's a beautiful thing. And so this past Thursday I ended up sitting at a table with Kara whom I taught Freshman English a couple of years ago. Kara is adorable--I've loved her from the start. We had a bit of a rocky beginning but once we got past the first week...oh my...she is a gem. Originally when I sat down at her table, it was alive with chatter and laughter as several of us squeezed together while we ate smothered burritos that were, I must say, divine. And then everyone started leaving one by one until it was just the two of us sitting across from each other.

"So what's your job?" Kara asked.

I gave her a really brief explanation that makes my job sound like the most boring job on the planet, and then she said, "So do you like it better than teaching?" And she looked at me with those big brown eyes that melt my heart.

"It's not that, Kara. I just needed a full-time position."

"Yeah. I understand," she said, blessing me with her gorgeous smile. Kara is a beauty.

This morning when I sent the email back to the rep from the University of Phoenix, I considered briefly sending her the email address for the person that took my place as I know that she's interested in getting her ELL certification now. But then I thought better of it as, really, it's not my place.

Life is all about change. Changing weather; changing careers; changing seasons. Days blend together, not one the same as the other, and yet, little by little, subtley,  each creates a different shade. I just read an article the other day--something that came in my email--about how the key to a successful life is learning to deal well with change. Change is force that, like gravity, is always present.

Every morning when I get in my car and drive off this campus at 7:00 a.m., I can't help but smile to myself. How blessed I am indeed. I love my job; I love where life has taken me and where I'm headed. There was a time when I couldn't imagine not being a teacher. It's what I went to school to be. I loved it, I lived it. It stole my heart.

But now?

Well, now I am no longer a teacher. But life is still ablaze with beauty. It's just a different sort of beauty.

It looks like today is going to be a beautiful day. The sun hasn't completely woken up the sky yet but it's getting there. The crickets are chirping and my flowers and plants are bursting with color from the rain. When I look out my sliding glass doors, I can still see the lush foliage that, soon enough, will be traded for the baren dead of winter.

The seasons are changing, and I, for one, can't wait to wear my Fish Creek sweatshirt and sit outside on my porch, roasting marshmallows over an open fire.

The Simple Life

After work today I went to Sam's Club--swung by quickly as it's a hop, skip and jump off the freeway. I needed two things. Literally. Cat food and dishwasher soap.

And that's what I got...plus some raspberries (they were only two bucks!) and some croissants (they'll make the best sandwiches for all of the packed lunches at our house!) and some fresh mixed veggies (Roy loves these) and some fruit popsicles (At least they're semi-healthy...) and ... well, you get the idea. By the time I headed out the door with my overstuffed grocery cart, I'd clearly crammed in far more than two items.

So as I drove home, I contemplated the fact that my cupboards are already bursting and yet...I now have to fit in even more stuff. Once I finally pulled into the driveway, a little over ten hours after leaving it, I called Jace and together we hauled in all of the goods. He was, of course, starving, and so I threw the freezer items in the freezer and then juggled all of the boxes on the countertops so that I could quickly throw together homemade tomato sauce and fresh ravioli that I'd picked up at Sam's on the last trip there. For the next fifteen minutes, I emptied the dishwasher and rearranged the refrigerator and made a list of things I placed in the freezer and sorted through mail and threw away papers that have sat on the kitchen table for far too long and strained the ravioli and dished up a plate Jace! It's ready! and thought about sending him off to eat by himself since the table was such a disaster and then, on second thought, decided to join him because, of course, that's what good mothers do and so, finally, at almost 6:00 Jace and I sat down together, in the living room, on the couch.

Yeah. That's family dinner at the Seals' home.

A few minutes later (as it doesn't take Jace long to consume a plate of ravioli and green beans), I headed back into the kitchen to finish my project. When we first moved here four years ago, we bought a little freezer as we desperately needed one. I'm not sure how we survived so many years with just a refrigerator freezer...but we did. But anyway, it's a disorganized mess. No--really. It's a disorganized mess. No matter how many times I organize it? 24 hours later I can't find a thing. And so, for the who-knows-how-many-times time, I took everything out, stacked it on the dryer, placed all of the frozen fruit together (for Savana's smoothies) and then placed all of the breads together on one side (It's embarrassing how many loaves I found stashed at the bottom) and threw away some stuff that I didn't recognize and...well, my freezer, at least for today, looks a whole lot better. And there's even space for more!

That seems to be the MO around here: more.

And then I finished clearing off the table. I picked up the pens and opened the door of the hutch to place them in the container that holds pens only to realize...there's no room left. Are these pens breeding? When did we get so many pens?

And by the door? About 12 pairs of shoes...

By the gas stove? A stack of polo shirts that Jace has outgrown and some boots that are so trendy and cute but awkwardly sized so nobody wants them and a box of homeschool material that will never get used--at least not at our house--and a bag of stuff for the Wii that never gets used anymore, either.

When we first moved here four years ago, we came from a rather small apartment. The guy who moved us said I've never seen a man with so much stuff or a family of 5 with so little. And it was true. Roy, of course, can fill a truck simply with what he packs into a garage. It looks impressive with all of the shelving and drawers and such. But there is a lot of stuff.  Yet we as a family had learned to live with a lot less as we had to in order to fit. And honestly? I loved that apartment. I loved the coziness of it.

Anyway, then we moved into this rather large house--and now? Well, we've moved into it rather nicely.

We need to de-stuff.

Ronald Reagan said, Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly, leave the rest to God.

I love that quote. I think it's a great mantra to live by. But I think I need to get back to the live simply part. I need to eat more peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, clean out my closets, and haul some boxes to Goodwill.

I need to stick to the list.