Celebration Seals' Style

September is the month of birthdays. Savana was born on the 18th, Darian on the 26th, and Roy on the 28th. By the time Roy's birthday rolls around? We're all tired of celebrating and out of money so he gets a happy birthday! with a slap on the back and we call it a day. Ok, it's not really that bad. But he definitely gets the short end of the stick.

Savana has been celebrating her birthday all week, complaining But it's my birthday! anytime she doesn't want to do something. For instance, if I say, "Hey, could you help me empty the dishwasher?"

But it's my birthday!

Do you think you could water those plants outside?

But it's my birthday!

That sort of thing.

It's really cute.

And so, Tuesday was deemed Shop for Savana's birthday day. Roy picked me up at work and we headed straight for Target as they tend to have a little of everything and the main thing on Savana's list was a straightener. And then we headed to the grocery store so that I could make her a lemon cake and a Thai curry dinner. So by the time we got home and I whipped up a homemade birthday cake, my day was at an end and I gladly sank into bed.

Yesterday I walked in the door and went straight to the kitchen to get started on dinner. Savana had done some shopping as well and created these beautiful raw spring rolls (I'm really not sure what they are called) but they were absolutely delicious served with a sweet and sour sauce. Guerin joined us and we had a traditional birthday dinner Seals' style. The only thing missing was Darian. We considered setting a plate at the end of the table and taking a picture of it in her honor, texting it to her with the words The only thing missing is you.

But we were starving because...

Roy spent the entire day working on his trans am as the door was difficult to close. And so he took the entire door off and fixed it. He's weird like that. Who takes off the door of the car? Anyway, he was so frantic to get it done that he skipped lunch.

Roy. Skipped. Lunch.

Breathe that in for a minute. Roy never skips a meal. In fact, one of his catch phrases is I can't eat pancakes for supper because that's breakfast food and then I'd have to eat two more meals to finish up the day. Skipping meals is not in the vocabulary.

Meanwhile, while he's skipping lunch, I'm sitting at work anticipating his arrival because he's on break and so I just know he's going to show up even though he told me not to count on it and so I keep checking my phone, expecting to see the classic text from him: Here. But actually it would look more like this: lkasoikhe3kj. Because he hates texting and doesn't want to take the time to spell out the word on his phone that is older than the hills.

And that's because every time it's his turn for a new phone one of us is frantic for it and so he happily gives it to us but now he has a grudge and holds it over our heads, especially if someone dares to make a comment that his phone is a bit...out of date.

I digress.

Savana hadn't eaten all day either in anticipation of the big birthday dinner so she was cranky as all get-out by this time. And Jace? Well, he'd forgotten his lunch. Every morning I pack his lunch and stick it in his backpack but this particular morning I left it in plain sight on the table, expecting that he would figure out that he needed to stick it in his backpack. And of course, I reminded him as I headed out the door. But he didn't listen, obviously, shockingly, and so his lunchbox remained on the table and Jace went to school without it.

How much longer, Mom? No, seriously. How much longer? 

So the thought of postponing dinner for even thirty seconds for the sake of taking a picture to send to Darian was out of the question. And so, we all just looked at that empty chair for a quick moment, thought tenderly of her, and then dived in.

While we were eating, Jace said, "Why can't Darian come home? She could just tell her teacher that it's her sister's birthday."

He was dead serious.

"Professors aren't that understanding, Jace."

"Well, I don't know why," he said, clearly disgusted.

After we'd consumed way more food than we should have, we did a quick clean-up as that's my rule: clean kitchen before dessert. And then? Time for dessert. And in typical me-style? I'd forgotten to buy candles.

When do I not forget the candles?

And so, I scrounged through the bottom drawer where I keep odds and ends in search of a candle, any candle, please let there be a candle as what's a birthday without a candle? And there, underneath the Saran Wrap, was a number eight candle, complete with a few years' worth of dusty accumulation.

But it was a candle.

And so I precariously propped it on top of the cake, lit it, and we all sang a quick happy birthday to you...while Savana basked in all of that attention before making a very very long wish for pete's sake is she ever going to blow out that candle?? It's going to start dripping!

And then, while she dined on lemon cake topped with fresh strawberries, she opened her gifts in a verrrryyyy eternal fashion, careful to tear the tape just so so that the paper isn't torn in the process. And seriously, why? It just gets tossed in the trash. But that's what she does. Every single time.

So a million pictures later, the gifts were opened, the kitchen was cleaned, and we all headed out the door for Best Buy as Roy needed speakers for the trans am.

And that is why, by the time we finally got home at 9:00 yesterday evening, I toppled into bed, exhausted from the day's festivities.

And that is also why, after we repeat all of the above for Darian, Roy gets the short end of that stick.

Because seriously, folks...after two days of celebration Seals' style, I just don't have any energy for more.