Digging Deep

When Jared and Darian were home a couple of weekends ago, they wanted to watch a movie on Saturday night. We'd already spent a couple of hours playing Clue and it was getting close to 10:00 and so, as we sat in the living room perusing titles, I looked anxiously at the clock and said, "How about an episode of Friday Night Lights?" I really don't have the ability to stay up late these days and I figured there was no way I was going to stay awake for an entire movie.

Jared shrugged and said he'd give it a try but, honestly, I wasn't too hopeful he would like it as it's a drama. Anyway, I went to bed after one episode and he and Darian sat on the couch and watched a second while I headed for bed. And that was the end of that.

Last night I got a text from Jared: Thanks a lot, Aunt Vonda. You gave alcohol to an alcoholic.

Accompanying the words was a picture of the first season's titles of Friday Night Lights and his current episode was highlighted. And Jare? Well, he'd clearly watched at least half of the first season--maybe more.

Oops. Sorry about that, Jare.

We all have our vices. 

...Soda movies coffee cell phone games Facebook Youtube workaholic gossip anger junk food ...

The list continues. 

Sometimes it's easy to focus on the vices of others, or even the vices of ourselves and become fixated on those things. Or? It's easy to just become consumed and let those vices take over our lives. Piper is a prime example of a vice taking over his life. He's consumed with a tennis ball. The weird thing is, our dog Sam was consumed with tennis balls too. He'd go absolutely nuts over them. One time I got the bright idea of filling a bag with tennis balls and then dumping them all at once in our yard. Oh my word he went crazy, scrambling around the yard and picking one up, spying another, trying to fit it into his mouth as well, dropping both and heading for yet another...round and round and round. He was the prime example of hysteria. Piper isn't quite there yet, but nevertheless, he's a little bit nuts when it comes to tennis balls.

I have plenty of vices, frankly. I can easily become consumed with my cell phone, allowing it to entertain me for hours. And potato chips and dip? Don't even get me started.

I used to condemn myself for those sorts of things--my thoughts filled with angry accusations of why can't you get it together.

But I've realized, in my old age, that life is, in my opinion, more of a journey than a catalogue of black and white. When we look back at our lives, it's a road map filled with mountaintops and valleys...and then smooth sailing highways. It is a culmination of experiences that brings wisdom and empathy for others and a worldview that becomes more defined the older we get. And hopefully, hopefully, that worldview just gets kinder and kinder along the way.

And so, dear sweet Jared, it's all about finding some balance in one's life. Sometimes we just have to take a deep breath, dig deep, and make the choice that makes one's life better in that moment, recognizing that it isn't so much about being bad or good...it's about creating a future that is bright and welcoming.

And you, my nephew, are well on your way.