A New Color

We had the most amazing weekend in Tennessee. We went down to celebrate Savana's graduation on Friday evening. We spent Saturday with some previous students who have grown up, married and now have families of their own--kids in elementary school. How in the world did that happen? And then we spent the evening with an old friend--Debbie Condado--whom we haven't seen in years. She's one of those rare people that, when we get together, we can talk for hours and hours as though no time has past. It was so good to see her, and Roy and I were inspired to make a trip to Colorado some day in the near future to visit her and her husband. Their kids and our kids were childhood friends as we saw them often back in the early years. But now, of course...well, Debbie is a gramma. Our kids are beginning to forge their own paths. So this next visit will most likely be much quieter and calmer than the previous.

And then Sunday...it was simply an amazing day. We gathered with friends and family in the Chattanooga Convention Center--along with thousands of others--and watched Savana walk across the stage to receive her diploma. She looked so beautiful up there--so self-assured and strong. I am proud of her. She's fought hard for her place in life. Afterwards we all went out to eat at this divine Italian restaurant that has the most delicious salad and rolls and everything. Roy's brother Fred and Mary were both there, and my mom and of course Guerin--all to celebrate my daughter. It was just plain fun--filled with good conversation and laughter and a few tears as Madeline, Roy's mom, was supposed to be there but of course...she wasn't.

And then we packed up and headed back to the motel to change clothes and divide up for heading home. Savana and Guer rode together in the pickup; a friend (Miranda) picked up Darian so that Darian could ride back with her to Pisgah as she otherwise would be riding by herself; Roy, Mom and I settled into our car, just the three of us. The number three is starting to feel familiar these days as that number is becoming the new normal.

When we picked up Jace from a friend's as he opted for a Pathfinder camping trip instead of the Tennessee adventure, he was filled with stories. As soon as we got home, he said, Mom, I have so many stories for you! I told him I couldn't wait to hear every one of them but of course, life was quite busy at home so they would have to wait so I could thoroughly enjoy them. And so, Mom and I unpacked the house while he and Roy mowed the lawn together. But just before he headed to bed, I said, "Come tell me everything, Jace. I am so excited for your stories!" And so he settled on my lap (I love that he still loves to sit on my lap even though he is so tall now that he has to stretch out his feet so that he doesn't eat his knees and it hurts a little--but I suffer through because my days are waning), and he said, "Do you know that girl Lindsay in my class? Well, Jacob and I were sitting by the fire and she came over to talk to us. She told us that we are really nice--we're not as weird as she thought."

He looked so contemplative, so proud...as he told me this. He sat there for a moment, remembering. We discussed that for a minute or two and then I said, "So do you have any other stories?" He told me a couple of random things--nothing too engaging--and then he said,"I'm really tired, Mom. I'm ready to go to bed." And so he headed off to brush his teeth and as I watched him go, I couldn't help but smile at this child who is growing up and becoming a teenager before my very eyes. He is discovering girls and fun conversation that makes you warm inside when realize that others like you.

Oh my goodness...let the fun begin.

Awhile later, after Mom and Savana went to bed and Darian and I had talked about the weekend and boys and life in general, I said, "Well--tomorrow is back to normal. We should head to bed." And so she left, calling G'nite Mom! as she headed to her bedroom and I turned off the lights. But just before I headed out of the living room, I stopped and picked up this picture of Roy that we got in the mail while we were gone. It's a picture of him when he was about 17 years old, all dressed in his football regalia, helmet on the ground. He looks so young and fresh and beautiful, those large hands that I adore plain to see. And I couldn't help but smile as I looked at that youthful face, touching it with my hands, so thankful that he's mine now.

And I thought, Where has the time gone? How did you grow up to be 54 years old? How did you, beautiful boy, turn into this man that now has grown children and a wife and a home and all ofthe privileges   and responsibilities of adulthood? How??

Life is all about transitions. Just when you think you have life in the bag, that you have everything figured out, life changes. Kids grow up. Parents get old. Scenery changes. Your photograph today, smiling and young, becomes a relic of the past before you turn around twice. But life is good; it's sweet. Though some moments are filled with grit and pain, our fingernails caked with mud from hanging on, we continue to struggle because despite it all, we want to live.

And so, one day passes, and then another, and change happens moments at a time and we don't even recognize it until suddenly the reality that everything is different hits you in the face. But it's all good. Sweet days are ahead.

Life will take on a new color--a color that will become familiar and feel like home.