Staying Out of the Way

Last night was the APCS spring concert. Jace had to be there by 6:00 and he was just a mess all evening: What time is it? I don't want to be late! I'm so nervous, Mom. I just know I'm going to mess up. How should I wear my hair? I wish I had thick hair like Josh's. I love Josh's hair, Mom. Can I make mine look like that? What if I mess up?

He was just a bundle of nerves. One would think that he was playing a solo the way he fretted about this performance. And so, when the band got situated on the stage, I made my way up to the front to record Jace, looking nervous and quite serious up there at the very back, practically hidden in the drum section. I held up my iPad to record the first song and he motioned to me: I'm not playing this one!

Oh!

And so I waited. For the second song, he played the bass drum, his face so intent on the music as he counted to himself. For the third song, he played the chimes--hitting them maybe a total of seven times--again the picture of utter concentration. But then during intermission, he ran to me: Mom! I messed up! Could you tell?

I laughed. Of course not, Jace! You were spectacular!

Sometimes it's so easy to let ourselves get in the way of seeing the good, of recognizing what we did right. Even when we're just eleven.

Yesterday was Mom's birthday and since she is visiting, I came home early from school to make her a birthday lunch: tacos and Mexican rice and fried squash. The only thing missing was the watermelon: aka Mom's birthday cake. So on today's agenda is dropping by Farmer's Market to pick one up, one day late...but who's counting? I told her earlier that for her gift I wanted to take her shopping, buy her a new dress.

My goodness no. I have plenty of clothes! They may be outdated but they work just fine. I don't want you to spend your money on that.

"Okay, Mom. How about some shoes. Could I buy you some shoes?"

Oh my...no! I have plenty of shoes! 

I'm flying home in a couple of weeks and so, I said, "Okay. Well, when Tami and I come home at the end of May we'll take you shopping."

That will be just fine.

So I'm not sure what made the difference. Maybe it's the promise of an afternoon with two daughters rather than just one. Regardless, I'll make good on my promise and we'll take my mom shopping for a combined birthday and Mother's Day gift. A little late but...again...who's counting?

Today is Friday...blissful, beautiful Friday that holds with it the promise of a weekend. Savana is flying home today. She's been in Lincoln, visiting her best friend from high school who is getting married in June. She can't attend the wedding so she flew up as a surprise for a surprise party--and Savana was the first "gift." She posted the "moment" on Facebook when Bekah realizes she's there and I've watched it a few million times. It's so sweet and tender and I know those girls had an amazing 48 hours together.

Today Roy and I are visiting a travel agent because we're going on a cruise this summer. It's been our dream vacation since we were dating but have never been able to manage it financially. We're both so excited and can't wait to explore the different possibilities.

Today is a celebration party at APCS: pizza and a movie for the whole school, so Jace has the promise of a great day at school.

Today I have Darian at home with me but days with her are fleeting as she's flying out in a little over a week for Wisconsin where she will reside the entire summer. I can't think about it really. And so I am determined to savor each moment I have with her and, of course, she takes full advantage:

Hey, Mom! Come hang with me in my bedroom!

I don't want to! You come into the living room with me!

Mom!! I'm leaving soon! Come into my bedroom! Now!

And so I do, sighing heavily but not willing to miss a moment.

Today holds so much promise. I am just hoping I don't get in the way of so much right.