What Then

This past week I flew out early Thursday morning to Washington, DC to host an alumni event that same evening. It was a quick trip filled with weaving in and out of traffic, getting a rental car, navigating my way in unknown, traffic-filled territory to a motel and then a restaurant nestled in the midst of wall to wall concrete, and then back again to the airport the next morning for a flight home.

It was fast and furious, but it was fun.

The event was spectacular. The people who attended were fun-loving, chatty peeps that made it all easy. And the icing on top is that the food was divine. So, other than my opening speech which was a major flop if ever I've flopped at an opening speech before, it was all good. I'm not sure what happened with the opening speech thing. I'll blame it on the weather (which was perfect, I might add). But it was a forgiving crowd and they didn't blink at my lack of ability to find simple words or the fact that I stumbled and repeated myself, or that I forgot to say many things that I was supposed to say.

That's ok. Next time I'll be on my A-game.

Hopefully.

I will say, the fall colors were spectacular and the crisp air was good for my soul. Ah--I do love fall. I'll have to adjust to Texas fall...which really isn't much of a fall at all...and do my best to schedule events on the east coast during this time of year so that I can get my fix.

But here is the thing that stands out the most from my trip:

Because it was such new territory and I had to return the rental car which included catching a shuttle to the airport, I gave myself far too much time for hanging at the airport. After it was all said and done, I had a whopping three hours for simply reading and perusing and such. Honestly, I don't mind at all. I'm a simple sort of girl and boredom just isn't my style. I can read, hang with a crossword, or just live in the midst of my head with the best of them.  

Anyway, as I was hanging there, this guy joined the crowd. Now this guy? He looked normal. He was probably in his late 40's, early 50's, dressed decently, and fairly nice looking. But he was loud and obnoxious and inappropriate. At first, I watched him with a skeptical eye: what is your problem? But as time passed, I realized that he most likely wasn't "all there." I'm not exactly sure what that meant: was he high on something? Or was he just, you know...affected in some way? But clearly there was a problem.

Fairly quickly another middle aged man interacted with this guy--we'll call him Charlie--and so Charlie sidled up to this guy and I began to wonder if they were somehow connected. Traveling together. Friends. Charlie immediately lay down on the floor where this other guy was sitting and occasionally Charlie would blurt out something. For instance, one time he overheard a lady say, "What did you say?" And so he very loudly said, "What did you say?"

He did that sort of thing. Over and over.

Eventually, we were called to board the plane and so everyone got in line, including this guy that Charlie deemed his friend. And that's when we all realized that, in fact, they were not connected. The guy got in line and Charlie was left lying on the ground. He immediately got up when he realized he had been deserted and, by this time, the line had grown exponentially and he found himself separated from his friend. "SIR!" He yelled.

The guy stared straight ahead.

"Sir!" He yelled again.

The guy continued to stare straight ahead.

And then Charlie got frantic: "Sir! Sir! Sir! SIRRRRRRRR!"

But the guy didn't budge, gave no indication that he even heard Charlie. And so finally, dejected, Charlie tucked his head and went to the back of the line to wait his turn to get on the plane.

We all, myself included, stared straight ahead and pretended that Charlie didn't exist.

And that's what has stuck with me since this all transpired.

Because, what about if we did acknowledge Charlie? What about if we did befriend him, accept him, encourage him to come along side us and get on the plane together?

What then.

What about, if instead of sneering at his inappropriate comments, we simply brushed them aside as harmless and talked to him? Treated him as one of us?

What then.

What about if, rather than acting as strangers, we acted as friends, all in this world together, all a piece of humanity joining hands and traversing its ruggedness in a united fashion rather than as islands, separate and alone.

What then.

Sometimes I tire of judgment. I tire of the polarization this country is experiencing in the wake of the election. And sometimes I tire of the fact that I am on this train wholeheartedly. The things I see that make me weary? It's in me too.

There must be a better way.

There must be a way this side of heaven that embraces everyone, that makes everyone feel included and important.

And if we all wrapped our thoughts around that, made the first step in letting go of judgment and embracing someone who isn't like us...

Well...

What then.

Playing Nice

Yesterday Roy actually got home on time from work. That is a rarity these days as his ability to leave is often dependent on whether or not heavy equipment can do its job. Things break down, or they have to wait on other companies' arrival...blah blah...and so his ability to get home by 5:00 is more often than not affected. It's all good--he "makes bank" when those things happen.

Anyway, I had to take Jace to Burleson and so Roy got home in time to play chauffeur. Now here is the thing with me: I am always happy for Roy to drive and then to tell him how to drive. Not too long ago Roy and I went out to eat with Tami and Chas. We always let the boys sit in the front seat as they talk a mile a minute (truthfully, Roy talks a mile a minute an Chas laughs at pretty much everything he says...) and Tami and I sit in the back and have our own conversation. For whatever reason on this particular trip, Roy decided to play me as Chas' backseat driver:

Don't you see those brake lights? This makes me crazy! Everyone else puts on the brakes and you put on the gas! (...throwing his hands up for effect and turning in his seat so that he can look at Chas in bewilderment...)

or...

Chas! Slow down! You're gonna get a ticket!

Naturally he was overly dramatic and made me look far more obnoxious than I am (absolutely--most definitely)...but it was funny nonetheless.

Anyway, as we were riding to Burleson (because that is what this whole thing is about), Roy got a phone call from a guy named Robby who is one of his supervisors from work.

"Hey, Roy--just checking on you. Making sure everything was good today. You know, you can always call me. I'm here for you, buddy. Even if I'm home--I only live ten minutes from the job site and I'll be there. Just call."

"Wow," I said, once Roy hung up. "Is he always like that?"

"Everyone is like that," Roy said. "That's why I love my job. Those people? They know how to play nice."

We are, of course, in the midst of this crazy election. I. Am. Dumbfounded. Like, seriously...it just makes me shake my head a little and consider not voting. I've always been a proponent of voting--one most take one's civil duty seriously and participate in what is one's right and one's responsibility as a citizen of this country. So for me to consider not voting? That's huge. I vote. Always.

And the truth is, I will vote this time as well.

But here is the thing:

People are crazy!

I am baffled at Facebook, at people's rants, at people's lack of tolerance. We are not playing nice in this election. It is like the candidates' lack of decency in many respects has given license to the public to just let it all hang out. We are bludgeoning each other with spiteful words.

Yesterday I hosted a luncheon in the cafeteria for women who are willing to volunteer at the university. All of these women are retired and give of their time just because...they're nice like that.

Recently we were coming home from Burleson. It was pitch black outside and as we rounded the corner on Old Betsy, we noticed a huge truck parked in the middle of the road, blocking traffic. Come to find out, a tiny kitten had made its way out into the middle of the highway and hunkered down, frightened. Seeing the kitten, this big guy blocked traffic while two teen boys rescued the kitten and took it home.

Recently I took Jace to the doctor--just a general practitioner. But this guy? He treats the patient as an individual. He got to know Jace, spent time with him, talked to him about who he is...and this doctor is treating Jace as Jace needs to be treated rather than by a book.

Human decency is still alive and well.

Sometimes I think we forget what life is about and we get muddled up in the drama.

Sometimes we just need to remember that life is a whole lot better when we all play nice.

Pumpkin Spice Creamer

Yesterday I went to Sam's Club. I haven't been to Sam's Club since we lived in North Carolina. In Asheville, groceries were so overpriced that we shopped Sam's Club weekly as they have beautiful produce and buying in bulk cut our grocery bill.

Anyway, my purpose for being there was work-related. I am providing lunch today for a girls' bible study that meets weekly and I am also providing supper tomorrow evening for my Alumni Board. And so, I needed to pick up a few things for those events.

As I strolled the aisles, I couldn't help but pick up a few personal items as well that I can't always find at HEB--where I shop for groceries. For instance? Olive Garden salad dressing. When Roy came home and saw those bottles on the counter, his eyes lit up as he is a fan and we've gone months without it.

Secondly? Pumpkin spice creamer.

Let me just say, I love pumpkin spice creamer. It's amazing with chai tea, oatmeal, and coffee. Mm. It lights my world.

I have missed you, pumpkin spice creamer.

The Queen of Chit Chat

I love personality tests. I'm not sure why, but they are one of my favorite things. And the thing is? They always end with the same diagnosis: I am what I am.

One of the questions that I encounter on these tests is how I feel in a crowd: do I seek out people I don't know, or do I seek those I do know. I always struggle with that question as, honestly, I am rarely in a crowd of people I don't know. I have envisioned myself as one of those who can talk to anyone; it doesn't matter whether I know them or not.

And then last night happened.

And I remembered.

Last night we had a Scholarship Dessert Reception for students who have been recipients of scholarships. The students and the donors came so that they could become acquainted and the donors could recognize what a difference their generosity makes in the lives of young people. The Advancement Team (of which I am a part of) was supposed to mill around and chat with the donors to make them feel welcome.

Easy peazy.

My first "stop" was with a guy from a motorcycle club. I thought--this will be easy. We can connect over motorcycles and the beautiful terrain of North Carolina and such.

And we did--we talked about Tail of the Dragon, and the Blue Ridge...we laughed for a minute about the wind in our face and the freedom one feels on the back of a bike.

And then things got awkward because...I really didn't know where to go from there! He looked at me expectantly...but I was at a loss. And so, I made up an excuse that escapes me at the moment and headed off for another victim of small talk.

The next guy that I spoke with was even harder for me as he was simply in a 3 piece suit and we had nothing to connect over.

And then I saw him: Chas. He was standing in the corner of the room, laughing with a co-worker. I quickly excused myself from yet another awkward conversation and planted myself beside Chas. "Ah--it's so good to see you! I don't have to make small talk with you!"

"Yeah," he laughed. "That's why I married Tami. She can talk forever and it takes the pressure off of me."

And that's when I remembered. I had a flashback of my childhood and sitting in the living room of my grandparents' home. Tami and Lori talked a mile a minute with them while I sat in a chair quietly and listened. I can remember thinking to myself, how is it they can talk about nothing for so long?? And then after awhile, I would sneak away and head upstairs to my pen and my paper where I created a world I much preferred over the one that actually existed.

The art of chit chat escaped me at a tender age.

When it comes to parties? I seek out those I know. That's my comfort zone. From here on, I will always know the answer to that question.

I am not the queen of chit chat.