The Queen of Chit Chat

I love personality tests. I'm not sure why, but they are one of my favorite things. And the thing is? They always end with the same diagnosis: I am what I am.

One of the questions that I encounter on these tests is how I feel in a crowd: do I seek out people I don't know, or do I seek those I do know. I always struggle with that question as, honestly, I am rarely in a crowd of people I don't know. I have envisioned myself as one of those who can talk to anyone; it doesn't matter whether I know them or not.

And then last night happened.

And I remembered.

Last night we had a Scholarship Dessert Reception for students who have been recipients of scholarships. The students and the donors came so that they could become acquainted and the donors could recognize what a difference their generosity makes in the lives of young people. The Advancement Team (of which I am a part of) was supposed to mill around and chat with the donors to make them feel welcome.

Easy peazy.

My first "stop" was with a guy from a motorcycle club. I thought--this will be easy. We can connect over motorcycles and the beautiful terrain of North Carolina and such.

And we did--we talked about Tail of the Dragon, and the Blue Ridge...we laughed for a minute about the wind in our face and the freedom one feels on the back of a bike.

And then things got awkward because...I really didn't know where to go from there! He looked at me expectantly...but I was at a loss. And so, I made up an excuse that escapes me at the moment and headed off for another victim of small talk.

The next guy that I spoke with was even harder for me as he was simply in a 3 piece suit and we had nothing to connect over.

And then I saw him: Chas. He was standing in the corner of the room, laughing with a co-worker. I quickly excused myself from yet another awkward conversation and planted myself beside Chas. "Ah--it's so good to see you! I don't have to make small talk with you!"

"Yeah," he laughed. "That's why I married Tami. She can talk forever and it takes the pressure off of me."

And that's when I remembered. I had a flashback of my childhood and sitting in the living room of my grandparents' home. Tami and Lori talked a mile a minute with them while I sat in a chair quietly and listened. I can remember thinking to myself, how is it they can talk about nothing for so long?? And then after awhile, I would sneak away and head upstairs to my pen and my paper where I created a world I much preferred over the one that actually existed.

The art of chit chat escaped me at a tender age.

When it comes to parties? I seek out those I know. That's my comfort zone. From here on, I will always know the answer to that question.

I am not the queen of chit chat.