I Have Enough

Sometimes it's easy to fall into the pattern of "never enough."

There's never enough time, never enough joy, never enough power, never enough weekend, and never ever ever enough money.

I have been reading this week about how to turn the "never enough's" into "enough." What a difference life would be if, rather than contemplating the deficiencies, we contemplate the sufficiencies. And really, isn't there always enough? Because somehow, we survive. Somehow we get to the next day, and we do that over and over again.

I want my life to be one that is joyful and grateful and "enough."

But sometimes I forget.

So the "enough"? That's the North Star. That's where I'm headed, though I'm sure I may experience some detours along the way.

This weekend Roy and I had a Staycation. Jace left with the Pathfinders on Thursday morning for a three night/four day Pathfinder event that involved camping and soccer games and basketball. To say he was excited would be an understatement: I'm never going to go to sleep!  he exclaimed over and over again on Wednesday evening.

We spent the majority of that evening packing, checking off items one by one on the list to ensure all was included that was required. His suitcase was perfectly organized when he left; I am sure it will be a full-blown disaster when he returns. And he'll be exhausted.

Perfection.

(Here's to hoping that Shane and Darrell aren't ready to kill him when I pick him up on Sunday afternoon.)

Anyway, so Roy and I have relished in our time together, living free and celebrating adult time. Ah--it's been a blast. Over the course of the weekend we went to a play called Young Frankenstein that was put on by Asheville Theaters. It was mind blowing as it was performed by amateurs who volunteered their time, and yet...you would never know it. The talent these people brought to the stage is breathtaking. The one who stole the stage was an 18 year old Senior in high school that was P.H.E.N.O.M.E.N.A.L.

One day Roy and I went out to eat and our waiter was a friendly guy who told us he is engaged, scheduled to get married a year from this October. We talked about how he needs to start a honeymoon fund and we laughed and we left thinking, This is just a great kid and I hope life treats him well.

At another place I went to the bathroom where a mom was derailing a little 3 year old who was just sobbing her heart out, all dressed in a frilly white dress but clearly misbehaving out in public. And Mom had had enough. Oh, I remember those times, and how I regret my lack of patience now. As I left, an older lady left with me, and as soon as we got in the hallway, the older lady said to me, shaking her head, "I just want to tell that mom to relax, to enjoy her little girl, that she's going to be just fine. They grow up too fast."

I get it.

Roy and I rode the motorcycle up Mt. Pisgah, a 40 mile loop that involved towering trees, rocky cliffs, and a rainbow of shimmering reds, bursting oranges, and shades of gold. Though Roy and I often communicate the best when we're riding the bike, we were both quiet on this journey as we soaked it all in.

And then one afternoon we took out his '81 Firebird and decided to get dessert at a nice restaurant in Asheville. As we always do, we locked the doors to the car...but Roy, in a rare moment of forgetfulness, left the car door key sitting on the console. Older cars have two keys: one for the doors and the trunk; one for the ignition.

Oops.

As we no longer have Triple A, this was a problem. But, due to the kindness of a K-Mart employee who found some wire in the back, and less than 30 seconds from Roy who is well-versed in breaking into old vehicles, we were back in business in less than 30 minutes.

Our Staycation isn't quite over. We're going to breakfast this morning as the finale of this weekend that we've been anticipating for weeks. And then? Well, then real life will kick in: shopping at Sam's, a few items at the grocery store, laundry, cleaning, and preparing for a week that will announce its glory at 5:00 a.m. tomorrow.

But here's the thing that I've noticed over our three day reprieve from parenthood. Even though we did a lot of laughter and talking and living in the moment, our thoughts were still engaged. We still worried about the things that bind us; we still experienced some frustrations and negative emotions along the way.

We were still us.

We didn't ever go away because, you know, wherever you go...there you are.

This weekend was on the highlight reel of our lives. That's for sure. But my readings this past week have reminded me that every day is filled with enough. It isn't just the Staycations that provide enough fun, enough time, enough joy, enough beauty...

Every day is enough.

I want to be on the lookout for the negativity that rises its ugly head on occasion, and I want to change those thoughts to...

I have enough time.
I have enough money.
I have enough power.
I have enough love.
I have enough friends.

I have enough.