First of all, I have been reminded of how mean we can be, of how we can forget that we are all just people, doing the best we can. We may not understand the journey of others, but they are just humans as the rest of us. It has been a tragic reminder as I have seen how the cold, harsh acts and words of others have decimated lives.
And now for my own "be real" admission:
It has also been a reminder that I am far too controlling by nature. That I need to let go and trust. (Thanks, Laurie.)
When it comes to my kids, I am a mama bear. Don't mess with them. I can be nice...until my kids are involved. And then? Well, then I see red and I scramble like a bat outta hell to make things right in their world. I have risked friendships for my kids' honor. I have badgered teachers and principals and anyone who may dare to judge harshly. (Don't judge me until you have walked a mile in my shoes. Just sayin'.)
Currently, my world is filled with Brene' Brown. If you don't know who she is, I would encourage you to find out and to engage in her books, or her online OCourse. She's hands down amazing and insightful and wise. Anyway, her basic message is that we need to live wholehearted lives and raise our kids that way. Wholeheartedness is not for the faint of heart, I might add. It's tough business; it's painful. But? It's real and it's authentic and it's living your best life. It's about feeling the sorrows and experiencing the joys in a very powerful way. It's about being knocked down and then having the courage to crawl your way back up without burying your feelings and shutting out the pain.
And? Here's the kicker, for me especially.
It's about letting your kids have their own wholehearted journey without your control. So in other words, they get to fight their battles and experience the heartaches and the accomplishments that life brings their way without controlling their circumstances. And that's a tough one for me.
Of course, that doesn't mean you have to send your five year old out the door without holding their hand...but it does mean that by the time your son is 13 years old, he gets to start maneuvering and learning tough lessons and taking the hard knocks without my interference.
That's a scary idea. It's a harsh reality. And yet? Well, it offers freedom at the same time. Because my job is to give my kids a safe place to land, a place that offers kindness, that allows them to experience the hard knocks but know that when they are home, they are loved and that we will brush them off and offer comfort and encouragement to get back up and try again.
And that also means I have to trust. And that's another tough one for me.
But, this week I began this new journey; I began the process of letting go.
We'll see how I do.
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