Starting Over

This evening I was totally engrossed in my own life when I suddenly realized Jace is rearranging his room! He had already pulled out so much stuff that one couldn't walk into his doorway without striking the pose of a professional hurdler. Sports equipment, a trashcan, his desk, a chair, and other bedroom paraphenelia blocked the hallway.

"Jace! What are you doing?" I cried, swallowing a surge of panic at the large amount of work he was creating for me in that sudden, spur of the moment decision.

"I'm rearranging my room!" he exclaimed happily. When I peeked around the corner, determined to keep my irritation at bay as It's already 8:00 and I am determined to be in bed by 9:00 and this is absolutely thwarting my plans screamed in my head, I noted that, in fact, his bed was already in its newly designated position. 

"Just help me put the comforter on, Mom, and I'll do the rest."

I looked at him skeptically. This job was clearly bigger than him.

"No! Really! Go!" he said, pushing me lightly out the door.

Flashbacks of myself as a child came to mind. I well-remember my friend Cindy and I hauling everything out of my bedroom one time and piling it in the hallway as we determined to re-decorate my bedroom as a very young child. I have no idea how that panned out as I simply can't remember. But what I do remember is my mom taking a picture of us two girls sitting at the end of the hallway near my bedroom door with heaps of stuff piled in front of us. 

Mom was a good mom. She didn't erupt like a volcano at the madness.

Many times, growing up, Mom rearranged our living room and den, calling us girls in to help her haul furniture from one spot to the next. She'd direct us to place the couch in a certain position, and then stand back and contemplate whether she liked it. If not, she'd come up with another idea, and away we'd go again--pushing and pulling and heaving--to the next ideal spot.

When Mom lived with us in California for two years, she often devised new arrangements. Roy would walk in from work and she'd greet him at the door: Look! We rearranged the living room! Do you like it?

And Roy, in typical Roy-fashion, would complain that he couldn't walk through the doorway for the chair--or he'd say Well, at least you didn't block the doorway this time.

I have no idea if Mom ever really blocked the doorway or if it's just Roy doing his thing. Most likely? It's just Roy doing his thing.

Savana came home from school a bit ago and saw Jace in the throes of his disaster, a satisfied look on his face. At this point in time, I was upstairs and she ran up to greet me after a long day of school and work. Hey--did you know that Jace is rearranging his room? she laughed. 

And then she began to reminisce about her own love affair with rearranging furniture as she was growing up. 

Except I can't remember if she ever piled stuff in the hallway. 

I'm not sure what it is about rearranging a room that brings such satisfaction. It's still the same furniture, same favorite chair, same decor. But somehow, placing everything in a different arrangement gives one a sense of new, fresh, starting over.

As I write this, Jace is banging on a nail with a hammer as one of his pictures fell down and he is determined to get it back up there. The nail is crooked, he explained.

He is making great progress actually. Only a few things are left in the hallway. He has run cords to plug in his lamp and hung up clothes and straightened his bookshelves. 

And so...who am I to crush his dreams? To stop him from a whole new bedroom?

I mean, granted it's almost 9:00 and he really should be in bed. And we won't talk about the fact that he still has a couple of math problems to fix. But for now? Well, Jace is chasing a dream. He's cleaning off windowsills with soaked towels. (Yeah--not a washcloth. A kitchen towel. But I'm going to keep quiet.)  He's envisioning and working away with determination.

He's starting over and I'm just sitting here writing about it.

I guess that beats a volcano.

The Real Deal

Facebook is such a fascinating creation. In more ways than one, it is nothing short of trouble. It creates perceptions of others' lives that are untrue; it brings a sense of failure to our own personal lives as we view others' as more exciting. And yet, it keeps us connected and it makes us aware of issues that are bigger than ourselves. So even though it, at times, annoys me and makes me want to throw my iPad across the room, I still find myself checking it far too many times a day: This video looks interesting--what's it about? Let's see...Oh look at her photo! Beautiful. Let's check her out (proceed stalking)...Someone posted a Taylor Swift video. Gotta love me some Taylor. I think I need to hear Shake It Off...and so it continues.

I would be tempted, for the sake of using my time more wisely, to delete my account, but the truth is, Facebook is a vehicle of communication that I am not sure I can live without. It keeps me updated on local events. It lets me know how my friend Katie is doing as she battles cancer. I can peek in on Diane who just gave birth at 28 weeks to her beautiful baby boy.  It provides a window into Kylie's wedding as she marries the love of her life today. And the list continues. And so, for now, I will keep doing my best to practice responsibility with my time so that I'm not wasting too many hours perusing when I should be organizing or cleaning or reading or ... well, a host of other things.

Recently, my girls and I were talking about the false perceptions brought on by Facebook. Savana made the comment that her professor said Don't compare your behind-the-scenes with someone else's highlight reel. 

Media brings a whole new world to our world. A few months ago, my friend Joy and I were talking about how we are such a unique generation--those in our age group--as we have truly experienced life with and life without media. We can all remember what life was like before the age of the Internet and cell phones and computers. And yet, we are now fully engrossed in the media world as it infiltrates every aspect of our adult lives. Someday, my grandkids will probably laugh and say, "You didn't have cell phones? How did you communicate?"

At times, I admittedly miss the simple of pre-media days. But I wouldn't choose to go back--not really. I love instant communication via texting and keeping up with friends as though they are still my neighbors and the ability to research and learn at the touch of a button. Media brings a fascinating world in its wake and I am grateful for how it has opened up so much opportunity in my own life.

Yesterday we had nine people squeezed around our table for lunch. Darian was home with Daniella and Guerin, of course, was over, and a couple of others for good measure, and so there was lots of laughter and craziness--my favorite kind of moment. We were talking about the direction cars are headed as Guerin is an engineering major. He was explaining how they are working on a car now that is simply programmed and it takes you wherever you want to go. It doesn't have any pedals or a steering wheel but is purely computer-driven. Most accidents, he explained, are due to human error and these cars have all kinds of sensors that allow it to see for two hundred yards in all directions and thus make decisions that humans aren't able to make due to our limited abilities in comparison.

Maybe I won't see this in my own lifetime--at least not in grand proportions. But my grandkids? Who knows. It may be their world: computer-driven cars. Hey, let's go to Disney World! We can sleep on the way and be there by morning!

It's fascinating, really--the opportunity that awaits. And with these opportunities will come a host of new challenges. That is just how life rolls.

My grandparents would never have conceived of the world we live in today. And yet? Here we are. And someday, our modern will be someone else's archaic.

But the part that I love--the aspect of life that brings a common denominator to it all--is that life isn't about the latest invention or the biggest and brightest toys. It isn't about Youtube or Facebook or having a faster Internet speed. Rather, life is about relationships. It's about laughter and sunsets and inspiration and wonder and joy.

The one thing that our ancestors treasured--and that we still treasure today--is family and connection and integrity and honesty and love.

It's easy to get caught up in the latest and greatest craze. It's easy to believe the world that is being broadcast is the real deal. But I happen to believe, that the real deal is the same real deal that has been around for generations.

And that real deal is friendship and community and having each other's backs. It's the stuff that's been around for ages, since time began.

And it's the same stuff that will continue for as long as life remains on this planet.

Cornbread Recipe

Debbie Fisher's Cornbread Recipe

2 c cornmeal
2 c flour
4 t baking powder
1/2 c sugar
2 t salt
1 t baking soda
1/2 c oil
3 c buttermilk (or milk mixed with lemon juice)
4 eggs

Bake in 9x13 at 400 for 30 minutes or 'til golden.

I have experimented with a variety of things and it always turns out good. It works well with unsweetened almond milk as we don't typically buy milk around here. And if you leave out the lemon juice, just leave out the baking soda. I've used whole grain cornmeal and that's good too--just gives it a heartier texture. I usually cut the recipe in half for our family so that we don't have leftovers, and I bake it in a cast iron skillet. But regardless of how you choose to bake it, it's delicious! Anyway--it's our fave! Enjoy!

Commonplace and Average

Last night was a rarity in our home--and yet? It used to be commonplace. But oh how I treasure these times when it is just the five of us circled around our table eataing a meal. I made typical Friday night fare: soup and cornbread. I must say, I make a divine cornbread that is a recipe I've had for well over twenty years, passed down from a friend of my sister's named Debbie Fisher.

When we lived in California, we used to love Marie Calendar's--a homestyle restaurant that made classic comfort food. One of their selling points was their cornbread. It was thick and sweet and moist--cakelike, I suppose, though it paired perfectly with savory dishes. And a beautiful thing was that they sold that cornbread mix in nearby stores and it tasted exactly like the real deal. When we decided to move, I bemoaned to my sister that we could no longer get Marie Calendar's cornbread and she saved the day: her friend Debbie made a copycat recipe that was pretty darned close to the real thing! And I have made that recipe ever since. It's delicious.

And so last night we all feasted on homemade tortilla soup and cornbread topped with butter and honey. And we laughed and fought for attention to talk as everyone seems to hog the limelight and we all acted as though this was the normal Friday night activity--when the truth of it is, I can't remember the last time it happened.

I love those moments.

Afterwards, we all did our own thing--converged together here or there but in general, independent. And by 9:30, Roy and I were in bed for the night as we've become classic early-to-bedders these days. Kind of boring, I suppose, but my preference is early morning hours when the house is quiet and it's still a bit dark outside and the "fire" hums in the stove. I eagerly await morning time when I can get up at the crack of dawn, just me and a steaming cup of chai beside me and my iPad which hosts an abundance of opportunity.

Recently I read the book Unbroken. It is an incredible story about a man named Louie Zamparini who endured over 40 days on a raft lost at sea and then was captured by the Japanese and spent over two years in a POW camp, enduring starvation and torture. The story is spellbinding and a testament to the power of the human spirit. It has affected me deeply as I just can't seem to start another book now that I'm finished as I know it won't compare. The movie Unbroken was released on Christmas Day. Roy and I took the girls to it the other day and, though it doesn't compare to the book, it is a beautiful testimony to this man's courage and determination and strength. And so, yesterday I looked up interviews with Angelina Jole, who directed the movie, and Louie Zamparini who just died in 2014 at the age of 97. I cried through every interview as their relationship is so touching. Louie had a profound effect on the life of Angelina (we're all on a first name basis) and watching them together is powerful.

Anyway, because I was on Youtube, one thing led to another, and eventually I wound up watching an interview with Jennifer Aniston where she was talking about her marriage to Brad Pitt a few months after their separation. She laughed as she discussed how the tabloids ranted about their lives of glory--driving his and her cars and jetting off to Europe and dining on specialty fare on a daily basis.  She said that when she read those things, she couldn't help but feel like she was reading about someone else's life as it certainly wasn't hers. And then she talked about how she and Brad (again, first name basis) would come home from work and eat take-out or cook a regular dinner together and sit down in front of the television and hang for the evening. Their life together, she insisted, was normal, average. Nothing extraordinary, though, of course, celebrity life has its perks.

And then the interviewer asked her what she was learning to like about her new life without Brad. With a grin, she said, "A comfortable couch." (She and Brad had very different styles and he preferred angles and lines to comfort when it came to furniture.)

That hung with me all day yesterday. Regardless of one's status or wealth, it is the small things that create a life. It is the getting up every day and routine and meals gathered around the table and laughter with loved ones and friends and good books and deep conversations and roaring fires that bring meaning to our days. And once in awhile we get to throw in the glamour--the vacations and the outings that create the grander memories.

Yesterday Jace commented, "My life isn't very exciting. Every day is the same."

I laughed. Yep. That's what life is about, Jace. Cherishing the regular because the regular you enjoy today will shift and a new regular will become the norm.

And so, I will treasure this next week as the five of us are together before Darian heads back to Southern and Savana starts her new semester and a crazy schedule. I will treasure our every day life that is commonplace and average and yet...

...so beautiful.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

Normally, January 1 spells new year's resolutions that promise all kinds of personal change for me: I'm going to lose weight and exercise more and write more and cook healthier and get better organized and...the list continues. But this year? This year I've hardly thought about it. I'm not sure why...other than maybe I've had so much change in my life over the past six months that I'm still settling in. Or maybe it's because every day I get up, I think those very same things: Today I will eat healthier so that the scales moves in the downward direction and today I will exercise...and so on. So why make a New Year's Resolution that has become the daily mantra?

But today is a great day for so many reasons. First of all, I don't have to go to work. It's currently almost 9:00 in the morning and I am still in my bathrobe. An entire day spills out before me with absolutely no plans. To top it off, all of my kids are home. Pretty sure it doesn't get better than that.

Secondly, it's the very first day of 2015. Clean slate. An entire year before me to learn and play and create.

And what better way to bid adieu to the old year than to remember its highlights? And so...here are a few:

1. Top of the list? Cruising for a whole 7 days with just my cute husband. That was a dream come true and every definition of fabulous and amazing and incredible and any other similar adjectives one can conjure up.

2. Starting a new career. This has brought a whirlwind of change in our lives but it has been good change. I work with incredible people and Roy has pitched in to help at home so that I barely have to lift a finger when I walk back through that door a little after 4:00 each day. I've learned so much and we're working towards goals and we even have a bit more freedom to play on the weekends. It's a good thing.

3. Savana graduated from college. I'm not sure how to express the feelings that wash over a mom when you watch your baby walk down that aisle and receive a diploma that officially ushers in adulthood. Though she has temporarily moved back home to finish her Master's, there's no doubt that Savana has become her own person: intelligent and responsible and driven and confident. I am so proud of the woman she has become.

4. A whirlwind Oklahoma Christmas. This always makes my list. Three days of family and crazy and great food and laughter and games and home. What's not to love?

5. The end of May I flew to Dallas and met my sister, Tami, and together we drove home to Oklahoma to visit Dad who had just had hip surgery. It was just the three of us girls there with our parents (all three of them), for the first time in probably 25 or more years. It was incredible and I loved every second of it. 

6. The week of Thanksgiving, the Lewis family and my mom piled in for  five days of laughter and fun. This has become a yearly tradition and we all look forward to it though it goes much too quickly. 

7. The five of us took a quick trip to Gatlinburg and stayed in a waterpark motel for a couple of nights. So. Much. Fun.

2014 has been a good year. We've experienced more laughter than tears; more joy than heartache. My parents are in good health and my family is intact. I am thankful. 

Life isn't always so easy--and I know far too many who are in the throes of devastation as I write about my own joys. Life can be difficult and tragic and sad--and we are all vulnerable to those times. And that is why, in my opinion, we must hold on to what is important. We have to treasure our loved ones and hold them close because we never know what the next hour holds. 

So for now...Happy New Year. I hope that 2015 brings courage to face difficult days and friendship and laughter and love in its wake for us all.