Life as We Know It

Today I am grateful:

1. We are picking up my mom tonight as she's heading in to help for a couple of weeks. When Mom's around, life is easy. She's so kind and nice to have around. She buzzes around the kitchen cooking and doing dishes. She cuts up salads like none other--tiny little pieces. She even shreds the carrots. Who shreds the carrots?? And she will do my laundry and keep up with the vacuuming.

Maybe she'll decide to move in with us for the next few months.

2. Savana is asleep in her bed. She's weak and terribly thin. She can hardly eat and she needs to take a nap after taking a shower as standing for fifteen minutes wears her out. But she's alive. She is out of the hospital and off of oxygen and we can have the lights on. The past ten days are a blur in my head--filled with images of the highway and white coats and stethescopes and IV's and machines that beep. The past ten days are a swarm of tears and moments of panic and, finally, the reality that all will be well. And it is. She has a road ahead of her to regain her strength...but she will get there. And that is a beautiful thing.

3. A community of friends near and far. If this past ten days showed me anything, it showed me that. So many peopled shared their love by Facebook messages and Facebook comments and phone calls and hospital visits and flowers and helping with Jace. I know Savana was lifted up in prayer around the nation and I am so touched by so many caring hearts. I don't begin to know how to say thank you thank you thank you.

4. The amazing people I work with every day. I have zero vacation time at this point as I've only been at my job for a little over a month. But when I went to work bright and early Monday morning, one of the lawyers that I work with, Hanna, came by my desk and said, "Vonda, you should go be with your family. They need you right now."  I explained how I don't have any sick time accumulated nor do I have vacation days. She laughed and said, "That doesn't matter. We all understand." Not even five minutes later, my boss came by and said, "Vonda, go home. I'm not asking. I'm telling. Come back when you're in a better place. Work will still be here." And so I did. I left, so touched by these kind people that I have the privelege of working with five days out of the week. They are all a whole lot of wonderful.

5. It stormed last night. Thunder shook the roof of our home and rain pummeled down. Jace and I stood at the front door and watched it for a few minutes, both of us grinning ear to ear, as nature unleashed. 

6. I went to a baby shower last night for Zach and Riley McDonald. And I couldn't help but revel in the excitement of a new life. Riley is pregnant now as she is due any day but she is beaming with the prospect of so much joy ahead of her. Life is filled with beauty...so much beauty. 

7. Roy and I went for a golfcart ride last night just before sunset. We rode through campus, talking the whole way. He's my best friend. Gosh I'm a lucky girl.

8. As Roy and I were riding on the golfcart, we stopped for a moment and looked at APCS--all the lights off and kid-free. My thoughts envisioned how the school will look in a few short weeks--bustline with running kids and activities and art projects and music and sports and so many good things. I am so glad that Jace has such a great place to call his own. I am so thankful for Erin who is taking the challenge of leading the "ship." I know she's going to be spot-on amazing and I can't wait to watch her shine. Yay!!! that Jace gets to be a part of her regime. That, too, is a whole lot of wonderful.

9. Savana's car will be out of the shop today. She was riding down the road in front of McDonald's just before she got sick and a driver didn't see her and pulled out directly in front of her. (July wasn't Savana's month.) But the good news is Savana and the other driver were both just fine. The car? Not so much. But, $5000 later (which didn't cost us a dime, thankfully), her car is finally finished. Roy is picking it up today and surprising Savana with it. She was provided a rental car free of charge as well and that car has been a blessing in the midst of this past bit of craziness. But today? It marks the end of this past adventure. Life is getting back to normal. 

10. Life as we know it. Everything can change on a dime. Life as we know it can become a whole different set of circumstances in the blink of an eye. But our normal hasn't changed. There's a temporary hiccup as Savana regains her strength. But the good news is, she will regain her strength. She will be as good as new in a bit. It could have been otherwise. It could have been a whole new world for us. 

But it isn't.

And I am grateful. So so very grateful.

Another Face in the Crowd

Everyone has a story. 

Sometimes, when I am walking down the street or in a mall, I can't help but wonder, when I see different people, what their story is. How did you two meet? or  What was your mom like? or Where did you go to school?

Buncombe County promotes health and fitness. One of their incentives is to allow all of their employees to walk for twenty minutes during the workday and it's "free"; in other words, it doesn't cut into the lunch hour. And so we four paralegals take a daily walk around Asheville. It's great fun and I look forward to it each morning. We all don our walking shoes and off we go, traipsing the sidewalks through town and spiraling back until, twenty minutes later, we're at the back door of the building where we work. I always am clueless: Where are we? Four weeks later and I still haven't quite figured out how these girls know where they are going...but we always manage to get back on time and in just the right place.

Anyway, yesterday one of the girls needed to stop by the bank and so three of us waited outside while she did her thing. I don't think any of us said a word--just stood quietly on the sidewalk and watched people go by. One of them was this comical guy wearing quite loud socks up to his knees, hair braided down the center of his back. A family of three walked by, the little girl reaching up for all she was worth to hold her daddy's hand. So refreshing. 

After a few minutes of the three of us standing there, Caroline said, I just love people-watching.

It fascinates me how we are all so alike. We all have childhoods that resonate (hopefully) with parents and friends and a place to call home. We all have a love story--meeting our special someone and experiencing the myriad of emotions that brings. We all have trials and joys and philosophies from which we build our lives. And most likely, if we could hear each person's story, we'd understand differences. 

I really like my boss. She is quite young and a bit earthy. She recently married and as I was meeting with her yesterday, she had a picture of her and her husband on her computer screen that I got a glimpse of before she clicked on something she wanted me to see. Her man is quite a looker. I wanted to stare for a second but of course...she's my boss. So I didn't ask her to Hold on. I want to check out your wedding photo!

But as I looked at her picture, I couldn't help but wonder where they met, what life was like in their home. I wonder that often as I meander the halls of the building and peak into various cubicles. Most everyone has pictures of their special someones hanging on their cubicle walls--laughing partners and adorable smiling children. Once in awhile I hear one of the girls in the room talking to her husband on the phone and she's always so cheerful, so warm. And it's then that I want to say, What's your story?

Because, most likely, their relationship wasn't always coming up roses. Most love stories are filled with drama and angst and questions. It's a rare couple--if any--who met, dived into love and then sailed through the wedding without a hitch. 

Recently I was talking to a young girl who is in the beginning stages of love. She can't help but analyze and over-analyze every twitch of feeling that she has. I get that. How well I remember asking people What's it like to fall in love? How do you know if you're really in love? Sometimes media makes us play tricks on ourselves, expecting our prince to ride in on his white horse and whisk us away, all smiles and flowers and love songs and chocolate.

But it's rarely that simple. Love is filled with stages of questions and wonderings and analyzations. Not every couple that gets together knows from the very first instant (though, of course, there are a few out there, Tammy Vaughan).

Love is a journey and each story is unique and beautiful in its own rite. And really...who doesn't love a good love story? But for that matter, we are each one big story. We each have common experiences and realities that, if you break them apart, aren't that different from anyone else's...and yet....

The truth is, our lives are built on experiences that are uniquely ours. We are a composite of the day to day...

...the memories, the dreams, the tragedies, the joys, the failures, the conversations--

...that all create perceptions that build our lives. 

And no journey is like another's.

It's our own very personal, very unique story...

And yet--we're just another face in the crowd.

Wherever You Go....

After a most fabulous, amazing week....we are home. We were wined and dined and treated as royalty for seven entire days. A week of more delectable foods than I could list and Broadway-like shows and snorkeling and walking 20 feet underwater with a helmet on my head so that I could breathe and watch colorful fish swim directly in front of my face and sleeping in and an endless supply of mixed drinks (virgin-style) and shaded whirlpools and watching the ocean go by on the deck with book in hand...and all with my favorite guy right by my side.

Fabulous.

But? I am glad to be home. I missed my kids so much it hurt and I missed my routine and my pets and my flowers and my porch swing. I missed so many things that are so good about my life.

I would have to say, though, that my absolutely favorite thing about our week was hanging on our balcony and watching the ocean roll by. Never-ending waves that spanned as far as the eye could see. I thought about so many things while I was standing out there on that balcony multiple times a day: how many kinds of fish were swimming underneath us; the courage of Columbus so many eons ago; the horror of falling overboard or going down with the ship (yeah...that's not exactly a peaceful thought but I couldn't help wondering about that practically every time I looked over the walls of my balcony); and the wonder of our world.

In the mornings when Roy would wake up, as he always woke up first, he would get out of bed and throw open the curtains so we could watch the sun wake up over the horizon. From our bed we could see the ocean beyond us, lazily rolling by, as the sky burst with splendor. We just lay there and watched, not saying a word. And then at night? We strolled out on the deck and watched the sun go down, the last edges of light barely peaking over the horizon.

It was breathtaking.

And we met so many amazing people. We met a little couple in their mid 70's who ate lunch beside us one day. They were so cute, asking us questions about our lives with genuine interest. The man's name was Bobby and he said, "If there's one thing I've learned in my life, it's that we never need to worry. Life always has a way of working out. And I've gone through some pretty tough times but I manage to come out on the other side all the better. Every time." These two loved each other and we had so much fun chatting with them.

We met Damian who was one of our waiters from Bermuda. Every evening after we had eaten our main course he would say, "Are you ready for some yum-yum? There's always room for yummy-yummy!" He was practically a kid--still in his 20's, and on our last day he shared with me how he had a little seven-year old girl in Jamaica and he desperately wanted to be a good daddy. That is why he worked the ship--so he could send her money and see her on the weeks that the ship stopped on that island (which was every other week).

We met a couple from Ireland who always vacation in the States. They were about our age and had chosen to not have kids because...they take too much time and focus. (I can't imagine my life without my kids. They're missing so much wonderful.) But probably our favorite person we met was a guy named Boaventura. (Roy called him Ace.) He was our head waiter and he had the cutest smile ever and was so genuinely kind. From India, he has a wife back home and a little three year old girl. He only gets to go home after seven months on the ship and stays for nine weeks before doing it all again. But he said, "It's how I provide for my family and so it's what I have to do."

Blessings to you, Boaventura.

The one thing both Roy and I noticed, though--sadly--is that so many people seemed so sad, so stressed, so in their own heads. Here they were on this spectacular cruise that offered so much wonder on every side and yet...their foreheads were creased with worry and their words were short. Many, exhausted,  wrestled crying children and the stress was evident on their faces.

One evening, Damian said, "People come on the boat to escape their lives and when they get here, they realize that their lives followed them."

Wherever you go, there you are.

This past week, I was reminded to take life slowly, to breathe in the good stuff. I was reminded to focus on the present, leaving the past behind and the future right where it is...in the future. Life passes by. We long for a future event to arrive and...it does. And then it's gone. Sorrows happen...but then they pass. And if we are constantly spinning in our heads, we will come to the end of our lives and realize that we haven't really lived.

I am thankful that I am home. I am thankful for kind neighbors who plan fun activities for Jace and make his days brighter as he adjusts to a new life at home. I am thankful for a husband who is one amazing "wife". I am thankful that we are planning our next vacation that will somehow involve dolphins. I am thankful for my new job that keeps me challenged and excited for each new day. Most of all...I am thankful for my here and now.

I am thankful for today.