Headspace

Lately I've been contemplating how our head space creates our reality. I can look at someone and think, so much possibility for that life. But after a conversation with this person that reflects a world of possibility, I realize they are miserable.

Sometimes life is filled with bounty and yet we see only bleak skies and wastelands.

I remember back in the days of teaching that I would have a class of 25 students that were charming, delightful. But then there would be that one student in the midst-- the one that needled me, that tested every class management strategy in the books, that made me sigh in relief when they weren't present. I would spend hours thinking about how to deal with that one troublesome student while hardly giving the rest of them a sideward glance.

And then one day it hit me how unfair that was and how it robbed me from the joys of teaching. And that day was a game changer in my classroom and in who I was as a teacher. It didn't change my troublesome students: they were still obnoxious and difficult. But it changed my vision.

And that changed everything.

Our head space can rob us of our best life. I've been watching these videos every morning that talk about how we choose our focus in life and these videos have given me a lot of room for thought. Recently I've been in a quandary about a certain situation in my world and what to do about it. I found myself living in stress, unable to sleep at night, and sliding back into some of those old habits that grip me when my world is rocked.

And then one day I thought...enough. I can't do anything right now; I can't solve this dilemma today--or even tomorrow. It will take time, and thought, and strategy. And so, I tucked it away and chose to move forward in my now, to not let my thoughts steer that direction until the dust has settled.

And once I made that decision, I realized that I felt whole again. The sun is shining again. And I know in my heart that my dilemma will find a resolution in its time. But its time is not today.

Recently, Savana said to me -- We will never really know what we look like.

I found that funny. And it's true. Sometimes I will see pictures of myself and think -- oh my word. Is that really what I look like? We simply don't know. And furthermore, we don't know how our thoughts in our heads portray themselves on our faces, in our mannerisms.

And to take that one step further? Our thoughts interpret details and tell stories that may not be so factual. For instance, I have heard people tell their side to a story that I witnessed and been shocked at their version that is so very different from mine.

And yet, I am the same. My headspace creates stories that others find ludicrous as well.

That is why, I suppose, there is your side, my side, and the truth.

Our heads create a lot of drama, tell a lot of stories, and bind us in a reality we have envisioned. And sometimes our vision is simply not 20/20.
Headspace is everything. It is our happiness, our misery, our hopes, our dreams, our frustrations, our loves, our hindrances. Headspace makes and breaks our worlds.

And sometimes, we just have to find the time to be grateful, to search for meaning in the darkness, to find the beams of sunlight through the swarming clouds--no matter how dim.

And maybe, if we look hard enough and long enough...well, maybe that little ray of sunlight will grow stronger and brighter until our headspace is filled with to the brim with light.