The New Regular

I forgot what regular felt like.

We lived in the midst of anxiety and the "unknown" and boxes for months. That restless feeling inside my heart became the norm. I took lots of deep breaths, closed my eyes, and thought...it's going to be okay...a few million times a day.

And now it is.

It's okay.

Now I have a living room with magical Internet and all boxes are absent. I still don't have things hung on the walls but it feels like home. My table is set up and we actually eat on it far more than we did in North Carolina. The cat door is back but this time it's minus the "ladder" on the outside as the window sits low to the ground so the cats can easily go in and out without help. That's a good thing as I always called that ladder our little piece of trailer trash.

Tami and I have established a walking routine. We took a hiatus for a short while when we moved from the rental to this home but we are back at it again. We meet at 8:00 which used to be just fine--we still made it home before sunset. But now the sun is heading down when we meet at the track and it's black as midnight when we're done.

Clearly fall is just around the corner. Ah--I love fall. I simply can't wait.

And yet? I can...because I don't want to rush my days. I don't want to rush my life.

I was talking to a friend recently whose son just left for a year overseas as a missionary. She said, "I wish I could just snap my fingers and this year would be over and he would be back. But? I really don't because I can't afford to miss a year."

I know what she means.

Roy has been working 'round the clock on the house. His to-do list appears endless and he is feeling the pressure as he starts his job this coming week.

Everything in my life over the past seven months has fallen into place in perfect timing.

When we knew we would be leaving North Carolina, I shared with one of my good friends that  all of the unknowns were stressful, that they kept me up at night. And she said, You don't need to worry. It will fall into place without your stress. Life is moving you forward and you just need to sit back and watch it happen.

Oh my, how right she was.

I stand amazed.

And now I just get to live the regular.

I still love driving down our road, seeing our house at the dead-end. That feeling still rises in my chest every single time...I can't believe it's mine.

I never imagined it possible that my sister would be my walking partner, my neighbor...and now she is.

Texas sunsets.

Jace's laughter with friends coming and going.

A fireplace that now sits empty but soon will be alive with dancing flames and crackling wood.

Surround sound in my living room.

Students chatting in my office.

Co-workers who have already become friends.

Brene' Brown every morning as the candle in the burnt orange ceramic vase flickers.