Just What I Needed

This past week I traveled to Washington DC to host an alumni event. I flew in on Wednesday evening, hosted the event on Thursday evening, and flew out around noon on Friday.

And I only left my motel room once – to actually host the event. Well, technically I guess I left it twice because I went through drive-through for lunch…

Yep.

I roll like that.

But can I just say, it was heavenly?

It was heavenly.

I had my laptop along so I spent some time with Hulu, caught up on This is Us (if you’re not watching this series, you should be), and journaled a bit. I skyped with a friend of mine, talked to the Husband, read quite a lot from my latest piece of fiction that I downloaded from our local library onto my e-reader, and took a long hot bath.

When I drove back to the airport on Friday morning, I did manage to look up at all the changing colors on the trees. I breathed in fall weather – crisp air, tall firs. And I took a moment to really be in the moment…as I missed most of these DC moments cuddled up in my motel room with my devices.

Once settled on the plane, this adorable girl named Lauren sat beside me. Lauren is from Dallas, newly married, and working on her Master’s in Business Administration. Now normally when I am on a plane, I set very strong boundaries that clearly state not up for discussion. But Lauren eased her way in between the pages of my book by quietly asking, “So why are you flying to Dallas?” And it went from there. She asked questions in a way that made it appear as if she were truly interested in what I had to say, and of course – it’s always fun to talk to someone who actually listens with interest.

Who doesn’t like to talk about oneself?

When the plane landed and we headed towards Baggage Claim, she hugged me quickly. “It was so nice to meet you, Vonda. I hope I see you again one day.” And then she was off, finding her husband and heading off to her in-law’s ranch located five hours south of Dallas.

My suitcase finally rolled around and I grabbed it, headed out the door, and flagged down Roy who was waiting nearby in his white pickup, flashers flashing so that I would see him. He jumped out and threw my suitcase in the back and then we headed for Hard Eight which heralds the best BBQ in Texas.

Normally when I travel, it takes a day or two to get back in the groove, to recoup from all of the goings-on. But this time? I came back refreshed and happy and eager to join the ranks of the living:

Great tv shows and heart to hearts with strangers and friendly alumni at a divine restaurant and hot baths in a motel nestled in the mix of concrete and falling leaves...

It was exactly what I needed.

Fall in Texas

It is cold outside this morning.

Of course, “cold” is relative. I have discovered that recently. Now that I live in Texas, my body thermostat has adjusted because, of course, Texas tends to be warmer than most states we’ve lived in. 

A couple of weeks ago, we had a “cold spell” for a couple of days that interrupted our 90 degree weather. One of those evenings, Roy and I were out on the back acre of our land where we have wood piled high from all of the trees we’ve cut down. (I say “we’ve” as though I’ve had a big part of that….) Anyway, the crisp air made me shiver and I said to Roy, “I think we should build a fire!” 

Roy looked at me and smirked. “Vonda. It’s 72 degrees.”

I hope I don’t freeze to death this winter when it gets down to the 50’s.

Anyway, my point is - we have officially hit fall weather, I do believe. Mornings are consistently cooler now and even the high of the day can withstand long sleeves made of a lighter material. People have pumpkins decoratively placed in their yards, and once in awhile I spy trees with golden leaves. (Not a common sight in Texas…)

It’s time to bring out the flickering candles, simmering soups, and cozy sweatshirts. My favorite season has finally arrived.

Yesterday, Roy and I were walking around and checking out the trees on our land. A few of them need a lot of work as they have been neglected for years. One of the trees out behind our storage shed is enveloped with dead vines that need to be cut off of it. It looks like a permanent Halloween fixture - its bare branches arching up to the sky, trying desperately to escape the suffocating dead vines that have turned dark and stiff. A few weeks ago, Roy cut the vines at their roots, but a wasps’ nest was hidden in the midst of the branches, and they found Roy an unwelcome visitor. So he never finished the job of removing the vine from the top of the tree — which will definitely require a tall ladder to reach.

Anyway, as we were looking around, we heard the Lewis family drive up with their last load. (As of last night, they are officially moved in next door.) And so, we strolled over to help them unload their pickup and their van, both piled high with boxes and such.

Yeah. We’re nice like that. 

(I’m pretty sure that’s about the extent of our help with their moving adventure…but we won’t talk about that right now.)

When we finally got home from our evening adventure, our house reeked from fish that Roy cooked himself for dinner. Can I just say, I hate that disgusting fish smell? And so, we both went to work spraying air freshener and lighting candles while I begged Roy to please not ever do that again. Ew.

And then we settled down in our rocking chairs that now sit side by side in the living room. We recently acquired an old La-Z Boy rocking chair that my father bought back in the day. I seriously have no idea how old this chair is. But once we redo the back and add some stuffing to it, it’ll be as good as new. This chair has made the rounds. Dad passed it on to Tami who passed it on to Lori who has now passed it on to me.

And I love it.

When we first brought it in, Jace walked by, wrinkled his nose, and said, “Please tell me you’re not keeping that chair.”

“Oh, but I am,” I proudly proclaimed.

And I am. I love this new addition to my living room. It’s comfortable and homey and it reminds me of my sweet father who warms my heart.

Fall in Texas may pale in comparison to fall in the Smoky Mountains when it comes to beauty. But for me? 

Well, there’s no other place I’d rather be.

The New Roy

We have dead trees in our yard.

Well, I should say we had dead trees in our yard.

When we first moved into our home, Roy was concerned about this very large tree that was just on the outskirts of the driveway as it was mainly dead. If it fell on the house, it would do considerable damage. And so, he asked a guy who cut down trees to give us an estimate on how much it would cost to bring it down.

$1500.

Thanks but no thanks. We shall do it ourselves.

And so, a couple of weeks ago, Sean Swayze was visiting and Roy decided it was time to get the job done.

Sean has been with us since he was a freshman in academy in Missouri.  Of course, he's far beyond academy days as he graduated in 2010, but he was always a big supporter of Roy, and our family in general, so pretty much he's just family. He lives in Colorado but as he has a lot of friends here in Keene, and he's especially fond of his dentist in Burleson, we see him on occasion. Anyway, Sean is wiry and youthful and can do things that Roy just doesn't do these days, and course, this boy knows how to work. He's kind of a beast actually.

Roy and Sean started on the trees in our yard (we had a fully dead tree in the back yard that had to come down) early on a Sunday morning. By that night, they were only partially done with the tree in the driveway. But by the end of Tuesday evening, it was as down as it was going to get. All that is left is an 8 foot "stump" that will, most likely, come down in due time. But for now? Well, the lumberjack in all of us has pretty much skipped town.

Every day I take Jace to school at 7:30 a.m. I back out of the garage, carefully eyeing the "tree stump" in my backup camera, and then pull out of our driveway and head off into the sunset (or, as in this case, the sunrise...)

Well, this morning Jace was running late. And so I partially backed out of the garage and hung there for a minute, getting a tad more impatient with each passing second. When he finally walked out the door and got in the car, I began my mini-lecture:

"Jace, you're not the only one in the world here. After I take you to school, I have to come back home, eat breakfast, and get myself out the door so that I can be there by 8:00! That's difficult to do when..."

BONK.

Yeah. That happened.

I hit the tree.

I sighed, threw the car in gear, and jumped out to survey the damage. And there, at the top of the car trunk, was a definite dent that most definitely had not been there before.

Jace was just happy that I was off my soapbox. "Is there a dent?" he asked, just a little too happily.

"No, it's just fine," I lied.

After I dropped Jace at school and drove back home, I parked the car in the garage, took a picture of the damage, and called Roy. As he was in a meeting, his voice was quiet when he answered the phone.

"Roy? Um...I backed out of the garage and I hit the tree. Don't kill me. There's a dent in the trunk where there wasn't a dent before."

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine."

"Does the trunk open?"

"Yeah - it's not that big of a dent. But there's definitely a dent now."

"Oh well. Those things happen. Don't worry about it. I gotta go - I'm in a meeting."

And then he hung up.

He didn't even sound irritated.

Okay, wait. This is Roy. Do you know Roy? Roy is a perfectionist. He likes everything spotless and perfect. That means we don't drive cars with dents in them.

But this Roy?

Wow.

I don't know what he did with my husband, but I think I'll keep this new guy around for awhile.

Meanwhile, I bet that tree stump isn't long for the world. I could be wrong...but I'm thinking Roy won't want to take any more chances. At least the old Roy wouldn't.

We'll wait and see what this new Roy chooses to do.

Moving Day

Moving Day is happening everywhere in my life.

First of all, Savana and Guerin bought their first house and they have been in the process of moving in. They bought an older home so they are also doing some fixing up projects in the midst of it all. They have stripped the “popcorn” off the ceilings, repainted most of their new home, and totally renovated the kitchen. It. Is. Adorable. These kids. They are some talented cookies.

As we are quite a distance from Fort Lauderdale, we are cheering them on from afar as Savana sends photos of box-laden vehicles and selfies that demonstrate the moving life.

Then there’s the Lewis fam. Their house is almost completed so they should be moving in at the end of this next week. Ah - I seriously can’t wait. But of course…it also means that, since their home isn’t quite a distance away, we have to help. 

Doggone it.

So far I have done an amazing job of avoidance. In my defense, our evenings are filled with our own agendas that include yard work and homework and housework and such, so by the time 9:00 rolls around and we head for bed, we look back and realize we haven’t had much time for extra-curricular.

But it’s a good life. I’m not complaining.

I am just saying — my good intentions haven’t made their way over to the Lewis home quite yet to help with the packing. But I am sure my day is coming because once they start the actual moving process, it will be all hands on deck.

Next? Roy’s sister Gina and family are moving out of their home that they just sold and, ultimately, to Burleson — a stone’s throw away. This family? They are flippers. Eric, Gina’s husband, is a master builder, and Gina is a designer. So between the two of them, they create a masterpiece that is stunning to behold. I am sad to see this home go to another family as it’s one of my favorite places to visit (not just because of the home — I happen to adore the peeps that live inside it as well…) — but I can’t wait to see what they come up with next. As they have to be out in a little over a week, Roy and I spent yesterday helping them pack. Roy climbed up in the attic and hauled down boxes while I gingerly wrapped fine china and carefully stowed it away for safe keeping in sturdy brown boxes.

And then? My sister Lori. As she and Tami run a business together and it is growing by leaps and bounds, Lori made the decision to move here to Keene a few months ago. However, the housing market is hot right now. Nice homes that come up for sale are like hot potatoes — once it goes online, it says “pending” before you have time to call the real estate agent about it. About a month ago or so, Roy and I were driving around a charming neighborhood just outside of Keene, just looking things over, when I saw this gorgeous home with a “For Sale” sign on it.

“Wait — back up!” I told Roy as I hadn’t seen this home listed online. I quickly FaceTimed Lori, showed her the home, and she in turn called the real estate agent who confirmed that the house was actually for sale but wasn’t online yet — it was headed there the next day. And so Tami and I looked at the house with the real estate agent and did a video tour with Lori who made an offer and within 24 hours of discovering this gem on the outskirts of Keene, Lori was a proud home owner.

So in two weeks, Roy and I will be heading to Oklahoma to load up a U-Haul, wipe down some countertops for the very last time, and move Lori to Keene.

Does life get any better? I don’t think so. I never dreamed that my sisters (and that includes you, Gina…) — my very best friends in this world — would be my neighbors. And so, though Moving Day isn’t normally a day we would relish…(One year ago, we were in the process of getting settled into this home where we currently reside. Boxes stacked to the ceiling, questions of…Wait. Where is that???…and pizza delivery on speed-dial are all-too familiar yet)…

In this scenario? Well, Moving Day isn’t so bad after all. 

Remembering

When Roy and I first got married, we headed off into the sunsets of the Colorado Rockies. We adored our time there. On Friday evenings after I was done with a week of school and Roy checked off a week of teaching, we stopped by a gas station and grabbed a couple of sodas on our way out the door for an evening ride in the mountains. I remember gazing in awe as the sun dipped below the mountains, setting the sky ablaze in wonder. 

On weekends, we often headed to Estes Park, a tiny town nestled up in the mountains near a lake. A brook winds its way through the town, its icy waters bubbling over rocks scattered randomly on the path. Roy rode his bicycle up the mountain while I trailed behind. Usually a picnic was packed in the trunk and we met at a picnic table by the lake where we dined on sandwiches and potato salad — the very same recipe I still make today. (Thanks, Aunt Lois.)

Afterwards, we meandered the little shops along the road — homemade fudge, t-shirts, and those old-time photos proved some of our favorites. In fact, we have several of those photos that used to line the walls of our home and commemorated monumental moments of our first few years of married life: our one year anniversary, when Savana was 18 months old and I had just found out I was pregnant with Darian, etc…Since moving to Texas, however, they’ve not made it back up to their long-held spots on the walls.

Estes Park is, undoubtedly, one of our very favorite spots in the world. 

This past weekend, I flew to Denver to host an alumni event. Tami Condon and I flew out together, rented a car, and hung out before the event on Sunday evening. “Let’s see some sites,” Tami said while we were on the plane headed to Denver. “I love Colorado Springs or Boulder…”

“How about Estes Park?” I ventured.

“Yes!” She quickly agreed.

And so, on Sunday morning after a motel breakfast, we found ourselves in the car and winding our way up the mountain towards Estes Park. As I rented the car, I was the designated driver, while Tami oohed and aahed the entire way, pointing and exclaiming over various wondrous sites. Her phone was in constant motion as she clicked photo after photo thats finishing product paled in comparison to being there in person.

As we rounded the corner and entered the Estes Park city limits, a sign there to welcome us, the lake rose up before us and I immediately saw “our picnic table.” I quickly pulled into a nearby parking lot and Tami and I got out to gaze in wonder.

It was like going back in time thirty years — absolutely nothing had changed about that view. The same sparkling white motel jutted up near a mountain ledge; the same concrete picnic tables still dotted the park; the mountains still rose around us in grandeur and majesty.

After awhile, we continued on into town, parked our car, and meandered the stores along the street. This part of Estes Park had greatly changed. It still had the same charm; the crisp mountain air still felt energizing; the babbling brook still weaved its way through the town. But more shops lined the streets than before and crowds of people filled the sidewalks. 

Quaint little Estes Park isn’t so little anymore.

But Tami and I had an amazing adventure up there in the mountains, and when we headed back towards Denver, the backseat was filled with bags stuffed with t-shirts and other mementos gathered from the day, and my mind was packed full with nostalgia.

I will be heading back to Denver next year around this time. I am hoping that Roy and Jace can go with me. I know that Jace will decide that he’s going to move there as soon as he reaches adulthood, as if it involves winter and mountains, Jace is in love. Chances are, Roy won’t be riding his bicycle up the mountain as I trail behind since life has a way of slowing us down in a few areas…but that’s okay. Maybe we’ll pack a picnic, toss it in the trunk, and as we wind our way up the mountain, oohing and aahing over jutted rocks and babbling streams, we can find ourselves aglow, remembering.

An Honest Review of Monat

I don’t have great hair. Never have. My hair is fine and blonde and thin. I have to work hard to make my hair look decent or else it sticks to my head and I look bald.

No, really. I just don’t have good hair.

I wash my hair every other day, and on the second day, I wet it down, add product (again) and then blow dry, curl…the works. And if I go to bed with wet hair? Oh my word. When I wake up, I wet it down and start all over because my hair is CRAZY.

I usually use 2 products to style my hair — a volumizer and mousse. Every day.

For the past year, I’ve become concerned that my hair is thinning. Now this is a serious problem — for obvious reasons. And so this past May, when I got my hair cut, I complained to London (this absolutely adorable girl who cuts my hair), and she said, “You need to look into buying Monat. I recently started using it and I have really thin hair and it has totally turned my hair around.” But when she told me the price ($84), I was deterred.

No thanks. I’ll just live with my thinning, fine hair.

When I went to London again in July, she washed my hair with Monat as she had become a big believer in the product and now sells it. 

And my hair felt amazing. Not only that, but I didn’t wash it for the following two days. And it still felt amazing.

Previously, I noticed that Mary Jean Rogge, one of my students from Wisconsin and a FB friend, was selling Monat. And so, as Roy was concerned about a receding hairline and Monat boasts to help with that, I reached out. About a week later, I received a bottle of Monat in the mail. 

And folks, I am a believer. I will use Monat for the rest of my life. And here’s why:

1. My hair feels amazing. I only use one product from Monat now and I only have to use it on the first day. 
2. I only wash my hair every three days. I know that sounds like….whattt????….but my hair feels clean and fresh every one of those three days. I’m not kidding. It’s amazing.
3. I actually have new hair growing in. I can see baby hairs in the places where before it seemed my hair was thinning. And Roy? Same story. His receding hairline is filling in.
4. And here’s the best part: If I wash my hair at night, add some Monat hair cream and tie my hair up in a bun on top of my head (sounds a little whack, I know), when I wake up in the morning, take out the tie and shake my head….I can virtually walk away and my hair looks like I styled it. The photo below is proof: I added about 4 curls in the front with my hot iron. Otherwise? I didn’t blow dry it. I didn’t add any product — that’s how I woke up. And folks, THAT IS SLEEPING WITH WET HAIR! Day 2 and Day 3? Nothing. I just run my fingers through my hair and go.

My hair will never be great hair — but my hair is the best it has ever been in my life. 

Now let me say, if you decide to purchase it, your hair may go through a detox period. This isn’t fun. I lost hair in handfuls. But just be persistent…it takes a few weeks and then one day you will wake up…and you will love your hair.

As for the cost? Roy and I are both using one bottle of Monat. We started using it on August 5 and today is September 15. We have at least half a bottle left. That means one person could use it for almost 4 months, according to my calculations. So even though the initial cost is high, overall it’s not bad at all.

And just an FYI: I don’t sell it. This is an honest review. And if you want to give it a go, Mary Jean Rogge is your girl.

(Photo #1 - This is me before Monat with 2 types of hair product and a different hairstyle...but it's what I got.)

(Photo #2 - This is a recent photo when I washed my hair at night with Monat, slept on it wet, and barely touched up my hair with a hot iron -- no product, no blow dryer.)

(Photo #3 - On my third day! I just simply got up, threw on some make-up, and here I am. And BTW, I clearly stink at selfies...)

The Game of Life

In quiet moments when I am just hanging out, or taking a break, I resort to social media. I can mindlessly scroll for hours.

It annoys me. And yet…I continue to participate. I rarely post. Once in awhile, I’ll share a photo or two — but that’s mainly because I just want to have it “on record” for myself more than anything. But other than that, I spend my time looking at others’ photos, or watching videos on animal rescues…It’s an absolute time stealer and I admire those who refuse to engage.

Last night, just before I turned the lights off, I scrolled through social media. And there, at the forefront, was a photo that triggered me. I’ll spare the details as it isn’t something I care to share with the world…but suffice it to say, this photo that was shared in total innocence sent me over the edge. I tossed and turned and mentally fumed for quite some time, begging my mind to just “stop going there.”

It was a great reminder as to why I need to refrain from social media. My life here in Texas is neatly packaged and tied up with a bow. I have no need to know what goes on in other places, especially regarding matters that I cannot control. Especially when well-meaning photos cause me to crash and burn. And especially when I could be doing other things with my time that would be far more profitable.

I read once that life is a game and we have to learn how to play it in order to maintain happiness and peace of mind. I found that statement intriguing, namely because I am a game-lover. I could play for hours. And so, I have adopted “tricks” in my life (so to speak) that help me maintain balance and happiness and joy.

I have learned that when I start my morning with gratitude my day is propelled forward in a positive manner. Before I get out of bed, I consider five things I am grateful for: thank you for a brand new slate, a brand new day, that it’s hump day today, for these brand new sheets from Sam’s Club that we’ve needed for literally years, for the promise of fall…

I have learned to collect “joy points” throughout my day. Joy points are something I learned about when I worked through the Emotional Brain Training program with my wonderful friend, Jacque. Joy points don’t cost money and don’t involve food or drink. They are simple ways to bring a quick burst of joy: playing ball with Piper on the back porch, watching the sun set, smelling a flower, breathing in deeply and smiling, taking a hot bath, saying something nice to myself, reading an inspirational quote… I have a list of over 50 ways to collect quick joy points that I made years ago. You should try it - it works!

I have learned to talk kindly to myself when I mess up. And folks, I mess up a lot. I give myself plenty of reason to berate myself. But my thoughts have changed over the years and I’ve learned that when I like me, and when I’m kind to me, the world is a much kinder place to live.

I have learned that when pain comes my way, feel it. I get through it much faster if I allow the pain to wash over me, engulf me, encapsulate me. 

And last of all, I have learned to end my day with gratitude — the same way I began it. Many years ago — when we lived in Missouri, I was in a church service and the speaker challenged us to write down five things we were grateful for at the end of each day. And so I began that practice and I have kept it now for years. Even on bad days when nothing seems to go right we can find room for gratefulness: thank you that I didn’t kill Jace today, that my pantry is stocked, that I had the money to fill up gas tank, that my kitty Sadie snuggled up on my lap, that the sky lit up with brilliant hues of pinks and gold this evening while I soaked in the sunset from my porch…

And now I shall add a #6 to this list of strategies for playing the game of life: eliminate social media. 

I feel happier already.